CATALOG NUMBER PAGE DESCRIPTION
MF001 01 Cover. MF logo at top. Imp paints an ensō (Zen calligraphy circle). Background of waves. Corner box w/ number, price (free), icon of M, lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
02 M bows to cushion
03 I: OH WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO IT “RIGHT”?
04 I: (leaning on elbow) OH, YOU'RE JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE? OH, YOU'RE JUDGING YOURSELF? HOW BORING!
05 M: (weeps)
06 M: (thinking) THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK
I: (beneath thought balloon, holding hands up to avoid being crushed) ENOUGH ALREADY!
07 I pokes M's empty thought bubble with a needle
08 Clouds have parted revealing the face of the moon.
I: (looking up) YOU'RE MISISNG IT
09 M eyes wide, line of surprise over head. Bubble popping symbol (squean) inside his thought bubble.
From off-panel: DIIINGG…
I: POOF
10 M: ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE IMPERFECT
I: (rolling their eyes) ENJOY IT
11 I: LET GO!
M: (cringing) OF WHAT?!!
12 I: I DON'T KNOW WHAT “NONTHINKING” IS BUT YOU AINT DOING IT
M: THINKING OR NOT, I'M SITTING THAT'S ALL
13 I: (into bullhorn) RELAX!!
M vibrates, eyes wide, mouth jagged
14 M: (pain stars, plewd (sweat bead), spirals for eyes) (thinking): WHY WON'T THAT [FUCK]ING BELL RING?
I holds keisu (bell) and mallet
15 I meditates next to M, off kilter with halo
16 I: (walking away with a wave of their hand) ALRITE, YOU WORE ME OUT ALREADY
M: TOOK LONG ENUF
17 M: (alone, eyes fully open): NOW WHO WILL DISTRACT ME?
18 I: (holding up their hands) SHEESH! NOBODY'S LOOKING AT YOU!
19 I: (curled up, eyes closed): Zzzzz
M: (wide awake)
20 From off-panel: WOOF WOOF
TWEET TWEET
TALK TALK
I, eyes half lidded, holds up a pistol.
21 I, with gritted teeth, tosses a brick, striking M's head.
SFX: ZIP POW
M: (heart next to head)
Krazy Kat homage obviously.
22 M: (thought bubble) [music notes]
I: (grinning) YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT SONG
23 M and I bow to each other
Caption: MEDITATOR: HE/HIM
IMP: THEY/THEM
—Ed.
24 Back cover.
Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #1 ©MMXX BY M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
P.O. BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
D.S.S.M.M.I.
MF002 01 Cover. MF logo. M is pierced by an arrow. Face contorted South Park style ( >< ).
I: (poised to shoot another arrow): SECOND ISSUE!
Corner box w/ number, price (free), icon of M, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 M bows to cushion.
03 I: (rolling their eyes) IS YOUR PRACTICE “RIPENING”?
04 I: YOU HATE IT
M: I DO IT ANYWAY
I: YOU LOVE IT
M: I AVOID IT ANYWAY
05 I tickles M's nose with a feather.
06 I: YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FAILURES
M: I DON'T HAVE TO
07 I: WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?
M: (cringes)
08 M: WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?
I: (shrugs)
09 M: (thought balloon) [crossed pieces of tape saying CENSORED, 4 plewds (sweat beads)]
I: OOH THAT'LL BE A TUFF ONE TO IGNORE
10 M: (a fermata inside a speech balloon
I: LISTEN TO YOUR EARS RING
11 Text: GOODBYE TO THE MAYU SANCTUARY[,] DENVER COLORADO [,] CLOSED FOR GOOD IN 2020 DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC[,] WHERE I FIRST SAT ZAZEN WITH OTHER PEOPLE[,] WHERE I BOUGHT THE CUSHION I STIL USE TODAY
Cushion.
12 2-page spread. M: 11 connected thought bubbles. Last one has a tail leading off-panel.
1, 2, 3: All filled with jagged lines
4: Bubble popping symbol (squean)
5, 6, 7: Empty
8: Jagged lines start to reappear from edges of thought bubble
9: Jagged lines get longer
10, 11: Jagged lines fill the bubbles again
I: AND SO ON
13 (same spread)
14 Cityscape on fire.
M: NO HOPE VIOLENCE
I: NO HOPE NONVIOLENCE
15 Cityscape on fire.
M: REVOLUTION PLEASE
I: HOW CAN YOU CALL FOR REVOLUTION WHEN YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO PICK UP A GUN YOURSELF?
16 I: ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE FACT THAT YOU LOOK LIKE A COCK & BALLS?
M: THERE'S AN OLD TRADITION OF COMIC FIGURES SPORTING PHALLIC SYMBOLS[.] THE LONG NOSE, THE LONG HAT[,] ETC
17 I: ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE FACT THAT YOU LOOK LIKE A COCK & BALLS?
M: I THINK I LOOK MORE LIKE A FLYING V GUITAR
I: LIKE I SAID
18 M: WHERE IS REALITY?
I: TAKE IT EASY, THESE ARE GAG CARTOONS[,] NOT KOAN!
19 M: (face contorted South Park style { >< ), pain star)
I: (doing a pancake stretch) DID YOU STREEETCH?
20 M: (thought bubble) THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT
I is up on a ladder picking the THOUGHTs out of the thought balloon and putting them into a bucket.
21 I and M: (Xes for eyes (crottles)): Zzz
22 M and I bow to each other.
23 Text: M. ELIAS HIEBERT IS A FATHER, A WAGE WORKER AND A PRETEND CARTOONIST. HIS MIXTAPES ARE AVAILABLE FROM SATURATED FAT TAPES. INQUIRE BY EMAIL OR POST
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH HELP FROM THE DR. STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
24 Back cover.
Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #2 ©MMXXI By M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
P.O. BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
T.D.S.S.M.M.I.
MF003 01 Cover. MF logo. I sits zazen on top of M's head. Corner box w/ number, price (free), icon of M, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 Epigraph from Ānāpānasati Sutta (“A monk, o Monks, goes into a forest, or to the foot of a great tree, or to a lonely place, and there sits down, cross-legged, holding his body upright, and practices Introspection. “He breathes in attentively, and attentively breathes out. Drawing in a long breath, he knows: ‘I drawing in a long breath,’ exhaling a long breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a long breath.’ Drawing in a short breath, he knows: ‘I am drawing in a short breath,’ exhaling a short breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a short breath.’)
03 I: ARE YOU EARNING “MERIT”?
04 I: DON'T THINK ABOUT SALIVA!
M: GULP (word balloon comes from throat)
05 Caption: SIT UPRIGHT AS IF AN INVISIBLE STRING WERE ATTACHED TO THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD
Line runs from M's head to top of panel.
I (eyes half lidded) holds scissors.
06 M has jagged mouth and twitch lines (agitrons) around nose and various other body parts.
I: (scratching back with back scratcher) AHHHHHHH
Onomatopoeia: SCRATCH SCRATCH
07 I: ARE YOU HAVING A JOYRIDE OR A HELLRIDE?
08 I: Oooo THAT'S A GOOD THOUGHT[.] BETTER REMEMBER IT
09 I: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN WATCH YOUR BREATH WITHOUT CONTROLLING IT? YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS WITHOUT FEEDING THEM?
M: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN KISS MY ASS WITHOUT SMELLING IT?
10 M: (balloon coming from stomach) GURGLE
Other meditator (in shadow) (word balloon coming from stomach): GURGLE
I: THEY'RE TALKING TO EACH OTHER
[Edited to add masks]
11 M (balloon coming from stomach): GURGLE
I (rolling their eyes): JEEZ, HAVE A SNACK NEXT TIME
12 Top caption: (large) I BROKE MY FOOT MEDITATING!
Foot bones, one broken with pain star.
Bottom caption: WHEN THEY TELL YOU TO BE CAREFUL STANDING UP, THEY MEAN IT!
13 Cap: MY FOOT FELL ASLEEP LIKE IT USUALLY DOES WHEN I'M SITTING
M has one eye closed, one eye open.
M's foot: ZZZZZZ
Cap: NOT REALIZING IT WAS STILL BENT SIDEWAYS I TRIED TO STAND ON IT AND…
Top view of two feet, one on its bottom like normal and the other on its side. Emenata from the foot on its side.
Onomatopoeia: KEERAK!!
Cap: I HAD TO MEDITATE IN A CHAIR FOR A WHILE AFTER THAT
M in chair with pain star from foot
Extra cap on side of panel: PS IT'S OKAY NOW
PPS BE CAREFUL!
14 SFT ad.
Typed text: (spaced out) saturated fat tapes
Scan here for mixtapes.
QR code.
Typed text: Or inquire by email or post to the address on the bsck of this magazine.
15 M: (thinking) I CLEAR MY THOUGHTS AWAY AND THERE ARE MORE THOUGHTS UNDERNEATH
I: WHAT'S UNDER THAT?
16 Cartoonist: I WANT TO DO FOR MEDITATION WHAT HARRY MAYEROVITCH DID FOR DEATH
I: OR KLIBAN DID FOR CATS?
C: LET'S NOT GO OVERBOARD
Pencil with USA.
17 I: WHY DON'T YOU DRAW THE MUDRA?
C: YOU KNOW HANDS ARE HARD
USA pencil.
18 I: WHEN YOU DO THE CHARACTERS-TALKING-TO-THE-ARTIST THING, YOU KNOW YOU'RE LOW ON IDEAS
C: AND IT'S ONLY THE THIRD ISSUE!
M: (thinking) META META
USA pencil.
19 I: (finger to mouth) SHH
M: YOU SHH
20 M: AT LAST SOME CLARITY
I: I SEE RIGHT THRU IT
21 I: STOP THINKING OF MATERIAL FOR US! […]YOU GOT ANY?
22 M & I kinhin
23 TEXT: M. ELIAS HIEBERT WANTS TO DRAW LIKE MILT GROSS, JAMES THURBER, GEO. HERRIMAN, SIDNEY SMITH AND JOHN PORCELLINO BUT HE'LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR DRAWING LIKE HIMSELF
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH THE GENEROUS HELP OF THE DR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
24 TEXT: MEDITATION FUNNIES #3 ©MMXXI By M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
MF004 01 Cover. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, price (free), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
CONTENT NOTE: SUICIDE. One eye closed, I holds a T-square and plumbline next to M.
02 Epigraph from Ānāpānasati Sutta (“A monk, o Monks, goes into a forest, or to the foot of a great tree, or to a lonely place, and there sits down, cross-legged, holding his body upright, and practices Introspection. “He breathes in attentively, and attentively breathes out. Drawing in a long breath, he knows: ‘I drawing in a long breath,’ exhaling a long breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a long breath.’ Drawing in a short breath, he knows: ‘I am drawing in a short breath,’ exhaling a short breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a short breath.’)
03 I: YOU'RE TRYING…
04 I: (looking around) WHY DO YOU LIKE IT HERE?
M: I KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYBODY
05 I: (pointing) SOMEBODY MOVED!
06 M: (gassho)
I: (tongue out, winds up with the stick)
07 I: ISN'T THERE SOMETHING BETTER YOU COULD
BE DOING?
M: NOTHING I KNOW OF
08 I: CAREFUL, DON'T GET “ENLIGHTENED”[.] I HEAR THAT CAN HAPPEN
09 The word THOUGHT is repeated around the perimeter of M's body.
I: YOU'RE SURROUNDED
10 The word THOUGHT, repeated, forms waves.
M's head and shoulders are above the waves.
I: (floating by in a boat) DON'T DROWN
11 I sweeps out M's thought balloon. The letters of the word THOUGHT fly around.
12 I: EVERYTHING YOU DO IS SILLY, MISGUIDED AND FRUITLESS
M: THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS FOR[.] BESIDES[,] I ENJOY IT
13 I: (looking around) …WHEN THERE'S REAL WORK TO BE DONE
M: I HELP SOMETIMES[.] WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK OF A HUMAN? WE CAN'T ALL BE HEROES
14 SFT ad.
Typed text: saturated fat tapes [spaced out]
Scan here for mixtapes.
QR code.
Typed text: Or inquire by email or post to the address on the back of this magazine.
password: hoaryhandsofhoggoth [upside down]
15 M & I (I looking down) both thinking of a skull.
16 Inside M's thought bubble, a knife, a gun, a bomb, an ax, a couple scribbles.
I: IF YOU MUST DISTRACT YOURSELF, WHY NOT DISTRACT YOURSELF WITH SOMETHING NICE?
17 I: HOW CAN ANYONE STAND TO BE HUMAN?
M: THAT'S WHAT I'M PRACTICING
18 I: WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE AN ANGEL?
M: ANGELS HAVE TO BE GOOD[.] THEY HAVE NO CHOICE
Typed text: This statement may not be theologically sound.—Ed.
19 I: YOU HAVN'T THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF LATELY
M: IT'S ENUF TO KNOW I'LL DIE EVENTUALLY
I: ARE YOU SURE DEATH IS THE END?
M: SHIT
20 M: I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT QUEER ENUF TO CALL MYSELF QUEER[,] NOT AUTISTIC ENUF TO CALL MYSELF AUTISTIC[,] NOT BUDDHIST ENUF TO CALL MYSELF A BUDDHIST
I: YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO COMMIT TO AN IDENTITY[,] ESPECIALLY A DIFFICULT ONE
21 I: NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO CONGRATULATE YOU FOR HOW WELL YOU SAT
M: THAT ISN'T WHAT I COME HERE FOR
(thinking) BUT IT WOULD BE NICE
22 Cap: IF YOU HAVENT' YET[,] PLEASE GET A COVID VACCINE
M & I both have needles stuck in their arms.
23 M & I bow to each other.
24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #4 ©MMXXI by M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@ocmcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
(upside down) T.D.S.S.M.M.I.
MF005 01 Cover. MF logo. M as a skeleton. Corner box w/ number, price (free), lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 M bows to cushion.
03 I: DON'T GET COMFORTABLE
04 I: ARE YOU TRYING TO REALIZE YOU'RE A BUDDHA?
M: I'M TRYING TO REALIZE I'M SITTING HERE
05 M: I FELT SO IGNORANT TALKING TO THE ROSHI
I: (shrugging) WELL TEACHING THE IGNORANT IS THEIR GIG, RIGHT?
06 M is flanked by other meditators, in shadow. I appears on a laptop.
M: IT'S LOVELY TO SHARE THE SAME SPACE WITH OTHER PEOPLE
I: IT'S NOT THE SAME ON ZOOM
Edited to add a mask.
07 M is flanked by other meditators, in shadow.
M: I GET AWFULLY SELF-IMPORTANT WHEN I SIT ALONE
I: WHEN YOU SIT WITH PEOPLE YOU REALIZE YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER BOZO
M: YOU'RE THE CLOWN
Edited to add masks.
08 M is flanked by other meditators, in shadow.
M: SUCH A JOY TO SIT WITH OTHER PEOPLE
I: YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE PEOPLE
M: I LIKE PEOPLE[,] I JUST GET CRUSHING BRAIN PAIN WHENEVER I TALK TO THEM
Edited to add masks.
09 I: EVERYWHERE YOU GO THERE'S SOMEONE THERE TO TELL YOU YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
10 I: ENDURE IT
11 I: ISN'T IT GREAT WHEN OTHER PEOPLE FIGIT? THEN YOU CAN FEEL SUPERIOR TO THEM
12 Pages 12 and 13 make up a 2-page spread.
M: WHAT IS GOD?
I: THAT THING IN THE DARK YOU'RE AFRAID OF
I's word balloon is connected to the word balloon on the next page.
13 Pages 12 and 13 make up a 2-page spread.
I's word balloon is connected to the word balloon on the previous page.
I: AND GOD IS ALWAYS THERE
M: SO I MAY AS WELL NOT BE AFRAID OF THE DARK
14 The cushion is empty.
I: (pointing off-panel with their thumb) HE HAD TO GO POOP
15 C: WHEN YOU LETTER BY HAND YOU HAVE TO SPELLCHECK BY HAND
M: AND YOU NEVER DO
USA pencil.
16 M: WHAT'S WITH YOUR HORNS?
I: (looking up, with their hand behind their horn) GOT EM AT THE SPIRIT STORE
M: AND THE DRESS?
I: I MADE IT OUT OF LINUS'S SHIRT
17 M: HOW ABOUT THE GLOVES?
I: (hands extended) A CARTOON TROPE WITH A NASTY HISTORY[.] I NEED THEM 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE HANDS[.] JUST GLOVES
Cap: (upside down) DID I STEAL THIS GAG FROM LIKE MILK & CHEESE OR SOMETHING?
18 I: THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERAPY
19 I: POSER
M: YOU SPELL THAT RIGHT?
20 M: (slumped) (thinking) I CAN'T DO IT
I: SLUMP
21 I: HOW IS IT IN THAT RICKETY OLD HEAD?
M: CRAMPED.
22 M & I bow to each other.
23 Text: M. ELIAS HIEBERT's MIX TAPES ARE AVAILABLE FROM SATURATED FAT TAPES.
INQUIRE BY EMAIL OR POST.
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH THE GENEROUS HELP OF THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #5
©MMXXI by M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MF006 01 Cover. MF logo. M is tipped onto his side. Corner box w/ icon of M, number, date (JAN-FEB), price (FREE), lonely place PRODUCTIONS. CONTENT NOTE: DEPRESSION & SUICIDE (BRIEF MENTION)
02 M bows to cushion.
©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
P.O. BOX 200394 / DENVER, CO 80220
03 M: (thinking) REMEMBER TO BUY EGGS
04 M: WHEN YOU DO ZAZEN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE DOES ZAZEN WITH YOU
I: EVERY SPINNING PARTICLE SITS ON ITS CUSHION
05 M: I READ ABOUT PEOPLE'S ENLIGHTENMENT EXPERIENCES AND IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A NASTY DRUG TRIP
I: MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO COMPARE IT TO
06 I: WHY IS IT CALLED “MEDITATION FUNNIES”?
M: BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT “ZAZEN” MEANS
I: SO YOU'D RATHER PEOPLE HAVE THE WRONG IDEA THAN NO IDEA?
07 I: WHY NOT “ZEN FUNNIES”?
M: THEN PEOPLE REALLY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE WRONG IDEA
08 I: WHAT DOES YOUR TEACHER SAY?
M: KEEP DOING THIS
09 Unconnected thought bubble: THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT
I: (pointing) IF YOU'RE NOT THINKING THOSE, WHO IS?
10 M: FORGOT TO BRING MY CUSHION ON THIS TRIP[.] I'M SITTING ON A ROLLED UP TOWEL[.] I HAVE TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO MY POSTURE[,] WHICH IS GOOD
I: AND YOUR BUTT HURTS WHICH IS EVEN BETTER
11 Cap: SITTING IN THE HOTEL WEIGHT ROOM IN THE EARLY MORNING[,] HOPING I DON'T STARTLE SOMEBODY WHO WALKS IN
12 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread. M thinking of M thinking of M thinking of M thinking of M thinking…
13 2-page spread with page 12
14 SFT ad.
Text: (bubble letters) S.F.T.
Text: NEW MIXTAPE AVAILABLE NOW!
Typed text: tinyurl.com/fattapes
QR code
Typed text: (upside down) password: hoaryhandsofhoggoth
15 I: YOU USED TO SAY YOU WANTED “MEANING”
M: I MEANT I WANTED A REASON TO LIVE
16 I: YOU USED TO SAY YOU WANTED “MEANING”
M: I MEANT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED ANYMORE
17 M: I LOOKED & LOOKED FOR MEANING UNTIL I ENCOUNTERED JP SARTRE, WHO SAID
Floating head of JP Sartre: (smoking pipe) FUCK YOU! MAKE YOUR OWN!
I smokes pipe; eyes cross looking at pipe.
Cap: IF YOU'RE A SUICIDAL TEENAGER LIKE I WAS, MAYBE READ NAUSEA[.] YMMV!
18 M: I'VE ALWAYS SEARCHED FOR SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE THE WORLD MAKE SENSE
I: WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GET COMFORTABLE LIVING IN A WORLD THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
19 M: I AM THE BREATHING APPARATUS OF THE UNIVERSE
I: BLOWHARD
20 I forces bellows up M's nose.
21 I reads newspaper, legs crossed.
Banner: Daily
Headline: WARS
Subhead: RUMORS OF WARS
22 M & I bow to each other.
23 Text: SHOUT OUTS: …/& H.R. Meininger/
THE NICE PEOPLE AT POSTAL CENTERS USA IN MAYFAIR • MY DEAD MOM'S PAPER CUTTER • THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE • ANYONE WHO WRITES ME BACK • ZEN CENTERS EVERYWHERE • DICK BLICK • ❤JEN️❤ • MONTCLAIR STATION 80220 • KIIP DEVELOPMENT & JOHN DE WEERDT FOR THE TIMER • THE LAUNDRY ROOM AT THE RAMADA INN IN SALINA KS • SATURATED FAT TAPES • SATURN COMIX • EAGLE SHIP
24 Text: MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
instagram.com/MeditationFunnies
twitter.com/MeditationComix (DANG CHARACTER LIMIT!)
fb.me/MeditationFunnies
THIS MAGAZINE IS ALWAYS FREE BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF007 01 Cover. M pulls on a rope tied to I's horn. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (MAR-APR), price (FREE), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 M bows to cushion.
Text: ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394 / DENVER CO 80220
03 I: IS IT GETTING STALE?
04 I: WHY YOU HAVE TO TALK YOURSELF INTO THIS EVERY MORNING INSTEAD OF JUST DOING IT?
M: I'M BAD WITH HABITS
05 M: (thinking) HEY, I'M NOT THINKING!
06 M: NEVER LET ANYBODY KNOW YOU DO THIS. THEY'LL CRITICIZE YOU FOR NOT BEING A SAINT OR A SUPERHERO
I: IF YOU WANT TO KEEP IT A SECRET I GOT BAD NEWS
07 I: IS THIS YOUR RELIGION OR YOUR HOBBY?
M: ER…
08 C: RESISTING THE URGE TO TRY TO MAKE THIS “GOOD”
M: SAME HERE
USA pencil.
09 I: ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL BEINGS OR JUST FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH?
M: AIN'T I A BEING?!
10 M: IF YOU BELIEVE YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'LL JUSTIFY ALL SORTS OF TERRIBLE THINGS
I: IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE RIGHT, LET OTHER PEOPLE DO ALL SORTS OF TERRIBLE THINGS
M: SO ALL ROADS LEAD TO GENOCIDE?
11 Flower pot falls on M's head and cracks.
12 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread. 8 panels showing a wave made of THOUGHTs breaking inside M's thought bubble.
13 See above.
14 I: (looking at a book of OLD SUTRAS) DON'T TAKE THIS STUFF LITERALLY
M: OH I WOULD NEVER (thinking) I'M TOTALLY TAKING IT LITERALLY
15 M: THINKING ABOUT THE BAD “POEMS” I WROTE WHEN I WAS 17
I: YOU REMEMBER THEM FONDLY
M: THEY WERE TERRIBLE BUT THEY WERE THE BEST OF ME
16 M: I MIGHT HAVE REJECTED THE GENDER BINARY WHEN I WAS YOUNG IF I'D KNOWN THAT WAS AN OPTION
I: INSTEAD, YOU FOUND YOUR OWN WAY TO BE A MAN, ONE YOU COULD LIVE WITH. ARE YOU SORRY YOU DID THAT WORK?
17 M: I RECKONED WITH MY GENDER BUT MAYBE I'D'VE DONE IT DIFFERENTLY IF I'D HAD EXAMPLES OF OUT NON-BINARY PEOPLE[.] THEY'RE MUCH MORE VISIBLE NOW
I: EVERYONE'S JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO COME AFTER THEM. EVERYONE THINKS KIDS TODAY HAVE IT EASIER
18 M: YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU CAN BE UNTIL YOU SEE AN EXAMPLE
I: YOU BE THE EXAMPLE! A MAN WHO'S NOT A NIGHTMARE!
19 M: JUST…BEING A MAN IS A MINEFIELD, AND—
I: AND BEING QUEER ISN'T?!!? EXCUSE ME?
20 M wears goat horns (2 pair, one going up, one going down) and a goat beard.
I: (angry) ARE YOU TRYING TO OUT-HORN ME?
M: IT'S MY FURSONA
21 M: EVERYTHING IS PERFECT JUST AS IT IS
I: THAT'S LIKE THE MOST PERVERSE THING YOU'VE EVER SAID
22 M & I bow to each other.
23 Text: M. ELIAS HIEBERT USES THE SAME ART SUPPLIES AS EVERYONE ELSE, AN ANCIENT SCANNER, AND OPEN OFFICE DRAW
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH THE GENEROUS HELP OF THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
24 Text: MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
instagram.com/MeditationFunnies
twitter.com/MeditationComix
fb.me/MeditationFunnies
THIS MAGAZINE IS ALWAYS FREE BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF008 a01 8 is a flip book. the a pages read one way and the b pages read the other. They meet in the middle (like the 69 issue of Zap).
Cover. Parody of Garbage Pail Kids Adam Bomb card. MF logo in drippy lettering, PEEL HERE in upper left, 8a in upper right. M's head is exploding. I holds detonator. Bottom: BUDDY Sattva.
a02 Text: ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
@MeditationFunnies
ON [instagram symbol] & [facebook symbol]
@MeditationComix
ON THE BIRD APP
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
IF YOU WANNA DONATE
a03 I: WAY TO SHOW UP
a04 M: I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TIRED[,] ANGRY[,] SAD I WAS TIL I SAT DOWN
a05 M: (sad face, shakey spiral inside thought bubble)
I: YEAH YEAH YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP AND EVERYBODY HATES YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH
a06 M: (anguished face) SO MANY HUMILIATIONS!
I: SO LITTLE HUMILITY
a07 M: (thinking) WELL I THOUGHT… WELL I DIDN'T MEAN TO… WELL IT SEEMED LIKE… WELL HE LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW…
I: YOU'RE MAKING UP EXCUSES FOR THINGS YOU'LL NEVER NEED EXCUSES FOR
a08 I: WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF THIS?
M: ANNIHILATION … PLEASE
a09 I: ARE YOU CHASING IT?
M: SOMETIMES
a10 Cap: “BAD ZAZEN IS THE BEST ZAZEN”—BRAD WARNER
I: DON'T DO IT WELL!
a11 From off-panel: DINNNG!
M: I MAKE IT THRU
I: (rolling their eyes) YOU WANT A PIECE OF CANDY?
M: YES
a12 a12 and b12 make a 2-page spread. I is a one-eyed jack playing card in the middle, a mirror image up and down. Two Ms are on the sides, oriented opposite ways, up and down.
I: WOW MOM (mirror image text)
M: (various word balloons, oriented different ways) NO UP[,] NO DOWN[,] NO THOUGHT[,] NO FORM
Cap: (APOLOGIES TO RICK GRIFFIN)
b01 Cover. Identical to other cover except 8b instead of 8a and name at bottom: Awakened ANDY
b02 Text: A lonely place PRODUCTION
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
b03 I: IS IT A DRUG?
b04 M: HERE THE FUCK I AM
I: (Looking off) WHERE?
b05 M: (thinking) JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT
b06 I: DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
M: IT'S LIKE WORKING OUT…I FEEL BAD WHEN I'M DOING IT BUT I FEEL BAD AFTERWARD
b07 M: (thinking) DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP
b08 I: “PAIN IN THE LEGS IS THE TASTE OF ZEN”
M: LEGS, HELL[,] IT'S MY BACK THAT HURTS
b09 M: (thinking) HALF ASS IS BETTER THAN NO ASS[,] HALF ASS IS BETTER THAN NO ASS[,] HALF ASS IS BETTER THAN NO ASS
b10 M: I RAN OUT OF IDEAS
I: YOU RAN OUT OF IDEAS THAT ARE EASY TO EXECUTE
b11 I plays solitaire.
b12 b12 and a12 make a 2-page spread. See above.
MF009 01 Cover. M floating in a lava lamp. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (JUL-AUG), price (FREE), M icon. Sunburst: STILL ONLY 0¢ I does Kilroy routine. Bottom: lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 Text screenshotted from book:
[189] To practice Zen is to sit in zazen.^1 For sitting in zazen a quiet place is good. Prepare a thick sitting mat. Do not allow wind and smoke to enter. Do not allow rain and dew to leak in. Set aside an area that can contain the body.
Cap: (SHŌBŌGENZŌ)
03 I: STOP SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS!
04 M: I MISS EVERY OTHER WORD ANYONE SAYS[,] EVERY OTHER NOTE OF EVERY SONG[,] EVERY OTHER BREATH IN ZAZEN BECAUSE I'M THINKING OF SOMETHING ELSE
05 I: YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN FEEL ASHAMED OVER STUFF FROM 20 YEARS AGO?
M: OR 30 YEARS AGO[.] OR YESTERDAY
06 I: ISN'T THINKING EXHAUSTING?
M: NOT THINKING IS EXHAUSTING TOO
07 Empty meditation cushion.
I: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER BY NOT DOING IT Y'KNOW!
08 M: GENDERFLUID? AGENDER? GENDER2UEER?
I: HOW ABOUT GENDER INDIFFERENT?
M: SOMEBODY MAKE THAT FLAG
I: YOU CAN'T EXACTLY DESIGN A FLAG TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU DON'T CARE
M: ERR…
09 M: SOME PEOPLE READ THIS AND THINK WE'RE ENEMIES
I: FRIENDLY ENEMIES LIKE NATCH & FLAKY
M: I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS LIKE CALVIN & HOBBES
I: POSSIBLY AN UNHINGED VAUDEVILLE DUO LIKE CHURCHY & ALBERT?
M: STAR-CROSSED LOVERS LIKE KRAZY & IGNATZ?
10 I takes a bite out of M's thought bubble.
11 I: SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON[,] AND YOU'LL LOOK BACK ON THESE COMIX AND CRINGE
M: SOMEDAY?
12 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread.
M's large thought bubble is divided into 4: BREATH (a puff of air), BODY (M icon), SURROUNDINGS (a bird singing), SELF (heart)
13 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread.
See above.
14 Cap: DREAM.
15 13 different size picture frames hanging on a wall.
Cap: MY WALLS ARE COVERED WITH PICTURES
16 Cap: A MOUNTAIN LION RUNS AROUND STRAIGHTENING THEM IN A FRENZY
Back view of mountain lion straightening picture with its 2 front paws.
17 Cap: SHE HOLDS HER PAW UP NEXT TO EACH ONE, LIKE TO MEASURE IT, CHANTING:
Paw and picture, with M's face. No other part of mountain lion shown.
Mountain Lion: IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,] IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,] IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,] IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,]
18 M: (discombobulated with agitrons)
I: (into M's ear thru an acoustic megaphone) QUIET! BACK UPRIGHT! KEEP STILL! EARS OVER SHOULDERS! NOSE OVER NAVEL! THINK OF NON-THINKING!
19 M: (reading book of OLD SUTRAS) “NEITHER HERE NOR YONDER NOR IN BETWEEN”
I: YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT GENDER AGAIN?
20 M: (with plewd) THERE'S POTENTIAL FOR EMBARASSMENT EVERYWHERE
I: SO YOU'D BETTER NEVER DO ANYTHING
21 M: REJECT THE BINARY
I: REJECT THE BINARY/NON-BINARY BINARY
22 M & I stand with hands in gassho. Pain stars coming from several parts of M's body and several more inside his thought bubble.
Cap: P.O. BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
23 Text: SHOUT OUT TO RICK VEITCH. I SAW HIS INTERVIEW IN THE COMIX URINAL AND THOUGHT, OH YEAH, DREAM COMIX. SHOUT OUT TO POSTAL CENTERS USA, THE MONTCLAIR STATION, DICK BLICK, HR MEININGER, SIMPLY PIANO, THE POOPSHEET FOUNDATION, AND THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE ☒
24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #9
©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
FB[,] GRAM – @MeditationFunnies
BIRD – @MeditationComix
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
THIS PUBLICATION IS ALWAYS FREE[,] BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF010 01 Cover. Dalek shouting IMPERMANENCE! IMPERMANENCE! MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (SEP-OCT), price (FREE), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 M bows to cushion.
03 M: I'M DOING IT!
I: YIPPIE
04 M: THIS PRACTICE HELPS YOU SEE WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD[.] THE DIRTY SECRET IS SEEING WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD CAN BE A REAL BUMMER
05 I: WHEN DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN EXACTLY THE THE RIGHT POSITION?
M: WHEN I FEEL FREE
06 I: (beating M with stick) PAY ATTENTION! PAY ATTENTION!
07 M: (thinking of a triangle labeled a, b, c; a music staff, a pencil, a hyperbola, a finger with a string tied around it, a hand of cards, angles, a dice (die), an open book or possibly a calendar (unclear), a clock, a baseball)
I: DON'T YOU WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM ALL THAT THINKING?
08 I: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE STRIVING FOR ENLIGHTENMENT?
M: ENLIGHTENMENT CAN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF
09 M: WHAT'S THE MOST NOBLE ARTFORM?
I: (reading a minicomic) THE MINICOMIC
10 M: IT'S ALL BULLSHIT
I: SAYING IT'S ALL BULLSHIT IS ALSO BULLSHIT
11 Cap: YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM THE BULLSHIT
12 Cap: DREAMED MY MON & I WERE ROASTING PEPPERS
Pepper, grate, flame.
Cap: AND PEELING OFF THE SKINS
Pepper, paring knife, skin.
Cap: GOD IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND COOK WITH MY MOTHER AGAIN
13 I: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON THE PRESENT?
M: (crying) I AM FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT. WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE PRESENT IS ME BEING SAD ABOUT THE PAST
14 Ad for Mom & I.
Mom and I yelling empty word balloons at each other.
Text: NEW MINICOMIC: “MOM & I” $1
PAYPAL/VENMO: eliashiebert@comcast.net
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
CASH: PO BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
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15 M: IT'S NOT ONE THING
I: IT'S NOT THE OTHER THING
M: IT'S NOT BOTH
I: IT'S NOT NEITHER
16 M: I DIDN'T DO THE THING RIGHT BECAUSE THEY DISTRACTED ME BY TELLING ME HOW TO DO THE THING RIGHT
I: YUP, THEIR ADVICE IS A RUSE, SETTING YOU UP TO FUCK UP SO THEY CAN CORRECT YOU
17 M: (surprise line over head, a type of emanata I suppose)
I: …COURSE, THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET YOU WITH THAT ROUTINE IF YOU DIDN'T INSIST ON DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT
18 M: NO SPACE OR TIME. THE BIG BANG NEVER HAPPENED.
I: (rolling eyes) WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET PAST THIS SMOKEY DORM ROOM SHIT?
19 M: THE TROUBLE WITH PROFESSING ANY RELIGION IS PEOPLE WITH NO UNDERSTANDING OF THAT RELIGION WILL JUDGE YOU AGAINST THEIR IDEA OF WHAT IT IS
I: YOU'LL NEVER MEASURE UP TO THEIR INACCURATE IDEA OF WHAT YOU SHOULD BE
20 M: I GET GREAT INSIGHTS WHILE I'M SITTING
I: THEN YOU FORGET THEM
M: LIKE A DREAM
21 M and I stand with hands in gassho and eyes downcast
I: (out of side of mouth) ARE YOU GONNA TURN THE WRONG WAY AGAIN?
M: NO, I THOUGHT OF A MNEMONIC
22 PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
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facebook.com/MeditationFunnies

ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies IF YOU WISH TO DONATE
23 NOW A WORD FROM OUR LAWYER
Snoopy in his lawyer bowtie thinks IPSO FACTO, PRIMA FACIE, QUID PRO QUO
THESE COMICS ARE NOT INTENDED AS RECOMMENDATIONS OR ADVICE[.] IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MEDITATION[,] CONSULT YOUR LOCAL ZEN TEACHER
24 MEDITATION FUNNIES #10
©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
M sits wearing a long, long scarf a la the Fourth Doctor
MF011 01 Cover. Closeup of hands in cosmic mudra with a galaxy inside it. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (NOV-DEC), price (FREE), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 Printed text: When Yaoshan was sitting in meditation, a monastic asked, “What do you think about as you sit in steadfast composure?”
Yaoshan said, “I think not-thinking.”
The monastic said, “How do you think not-thinking?”
Yaoshan said, “Nonthinking.”

MEDITATION FUNNIES #11
©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
03 M: I'M NOT QUALIFIED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MEDITATION
I: (rolling eyes) YET YOU NEVER SHUT UP
04 M: AS LONG AS I'M SITTING HERE[,] AT LEAST I KNOW I'M NOT CAUSING ANY TROUBLE
I: YOU SURE?
05 M: Eyebrows crossed, thinking of concentric jagged lines
I: THAT PERSON REALLY GETS TO YOU, HUH?
YEAH, AND THE THING IS[,] I KNOW THEY'RE BEING AS NICE TO ME AS THEY KNOW HOW TO BE
06 I: (grinning) WHAT ARE YOU NONTHINKING ABOUT?
I: A PENNY FOR YOUR NONTHIUGHTS
M: NONTHINK[,] NONTHANK[,] NONTHUNK
07 THE DEMON WHO STOPS YOU FROM FINISHING ANYTHING
Smoke Demon is wrapped around M
M: (thinks) IT'S NOT GOOD ENUF
I'M NOT GOOD ENUF

OR SHOWING YOURSELF TO ANYONE
08 M: EVERY DAY I HAVE TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF ACTUALLY FEELS GOOD
I: (eyes crossed) JUST CUT YR TOENAILS ALREADY!
09 I: YOU GET USED TO EVERYTHING[,] SO YOU END UP HAVING TO DO MORE & MORE OF IT
M: LUCKY I'M UNDISCIPLINED SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT
10 I: SILLY LITTLE BAG OF SKIN INFLATING YOUR SILLY LITTLE BAG OF AIR
11 ONE DAY[,] WHEN I WAS 16 OR 17[,] I WAS TOO DEPRESSED TO GO TO SCHOOL[,] TOO DEPRESSED TO FACE ANYBODY[,] AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I WAS GOING TO CONTINUE LIVING, I WENT OUT TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE[,] SMOKT POT AND READ COMIC BOOKS (IT WAS WHAT KIDS TODAY CALL SELF CARE)
12 AND IN A STONED HAZE[,] I HEARD MY HEART WHISPER TO ME
Heart: (whispering) IT'S ALRIGHT.

AND THEN I COULD GO ON
13 AND NOW WHEN THINGS ARE HARD[,] I REMEMBER MY HEARD WHISPERING TO ME

I CAN STILL HEAR IT
M sitting with heart symbol on chest
14 Ad for Mom & I.
Mom and I yelling empty word balloons at each other.
Text: NEW MINICOMIC: “MOM & I” $1
PAYPAL/VENMO: eliashiebert@comcast.net
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
CASH: PO BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
OR—DONATE A BUCK TO ANY ABORTION FUND AND LET ME KNOW! *NOT PP
ALL SALES DONATED TO: NATIONAL NETWORK OF ABORTION FUNDS
15 I: ARE YOU KEEPING YOUR MIND STILL?
M: MY MIND IS MUCH TOO BUSY KEEPING MY BODY STILL
16 M: IF YOU COMPLIMENT SOMEONE ON SOMETHING, THEY'LL DO MORE OF IT
I: OR LESS, IF THEY'RE PERVERSE
M: SO IS A COMPLIMENT JUST A WAY OF CONTROLLING SOMEONE?
17 M: WHY DO I AVOID MEDITATING?
I: SAME REASON YOU AVOID SLEEP—YOU'RE AFRAID TO DIE
18 I: DOES ____ READ THESE?
M: EH, THEY PROBABLY JUST PUT THEM ON THE “TO READ” PILE FOREVER
19 M: (with donkey ears) WHEN WILL I LEARN TO ARGUE WITHOUT BEING AN ASS?
I: (glancing to the side) SCUSE ME WHILE I GO SHOUT INTO A HOLE
20 I: (looking up) YOU CAN'T REALLY FLESH OUT AN IDEA IN SINGLE-PANEL FORMAT
M: THAT'S THE BIG ADVANTAGE
21 HAVE U HAD THE BIVALENT BOOSTER YET?
A large bandaid
I: (hands cupped around mouth) GET IT!
M: (Looking up from bottom of panel) PLZ.

VACCINES.GOV
22 INSPIRATIONS: LYNDA BARRY AND HER STUDENTS (CHECK OUT @thenearsightedmonkey ON INSTAGRAM) MATT FEAZELL[,] JOHN PORCELLINO (ALWAYS) KEL CRUM[,] JAMES THURBER, SCHULZ, KEILOR ROBERTS[,] GEO. HERRIMAN (CHECK OUT The Kat Who Walked in Beauty – IF YOU CAN FIND IT!) SAM SZABO (COMICS WILL BREAK YOUR BALLS IS THE FUNNIES COMIC BOOK OF ALL TIME) GABRIELLE BELL, ELEANOR DAVIS (CHECK OUT You & A Bike & A Road) MILT GROSS, EDIE FAKE, SIDNEY SMITH, PHILLIP GUSTON, H. MATISSE, CAT AND GIRL, FABIO VISCOGLISI, KENNETH KOCH, JON KLASSEN, THIRTEEN, BMFU, DLIZABETH HAIDE, DON MARTIN, SOFIA FOSTER-DOMINO, OOPS OUT OF ROOM! LOVE, E.
23 WRITE TO:
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MeditationFunnies@GMAIL.COM
[Instagram symbol}/[facebook symbol]:@MeditationFunnies
BIRD:@MeditationComix

THIS MAGAZINE IS ALWAYS FREE[,] BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
24 A REAL CONVERSATION WITH A 6 YEAR OLD
6yo: THE EARTH IS REALLY SMALL
M: (smiling) SURE, COMPARED TO THE UNIVERSE[,] EARTH IS VERY TINY
6yo: EVEN THE UNIVERSE IS SMALL
M: OH YEAH? COMPARED TO WHAT?
6yo: NOTHINGNESS.
M: (plops)
MF012 01 Cover. MEDITATION FUNNIES #12 JAN-FEB in distorted letters. M's head, I's head & torso. FREE. A lonely place PRODUCTION.
02 MEDITATION FUNNIES #12
©MMXXIII by M. Elias Hiebert

“A GIFT IS NOT TO BE HATED FOR ITS SMALL VALUE”
DŌGEN

Type: Content Note: Suicide (brief mention) (again)

Lonely place PRODUCTIONS
03 I: STOP TRYING TO WIN
04 M: YOUR ANXIETY & FEAR DOESN'T GO AWAY WHEN YOU DO THIS
I: (in lotus position, downcast eyes) THEY JUST SIT DOWN WITH YOU
05 I: LIFE DOESN'T LAST[,] Y'KNOW
M: MAYBE DEATH DOESN'T LAST EITHER
06 IT DOESN'T LAST
M thinking of: a heart, a stack of cash, a sun, a moon, a flower, a house, an erect penis, a heartbeat on an EKG
07 I: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING
M: MAY I NEVER FIND OUT
08 M thinks an empty thought bubble. I takes another empty thought bubble and throws it onto a fire on which two other empty thought bubbles are already burning.
09 KOAN FUNNIES PRESENTS:
BLUE CLIFF RECORD, EPISODE 53 “THE WILD DUCK”
Panel 1: Two stick figures by a river
Panel 2: A duck flies by the 2 stick figures
Panel 3: The two stick figures alone, silent
Panel 4: One of the stick figures says, WHERE HAS IT GONE?
10 Panel 1: WHERE HAS IT GONE?? M with wide open eyes
Panel 2: M laffs maniacly
Panel 3: A hand reaches from off-panel and tweaks M's nose. M: (cross-eyed) URF!
11 M: (tear and swollen nose)
I: YOU TOLD IT WORNG
12 THE VERY NOTION OF ARISING & PASSING AWAY IS SUSPECT —KEN TETSUZAN MORGAREIDGE
M sits next to another sitting figure with a skull head and x'es for eyes
13 I: NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PRACTICE DYING[,] IT WON'T PREPARE YOU FOR THE REAL THING
14 M: THE PAST AND THE FUTURE ARE INACCESSIBLE
I: (looking around) SO IS THE PRESENT
15 I: WHAT IS YOUR MIND LIKE WHEN YOU SIT ZAZEN?
M: …
16-17 Two page spread. Word balloon from off-panel: A BLANK PAGE! The rest of the spread is blank.
18 I: SO THE ZEEROX MACHINE IS A KOAN??
Arrow pointing to the paper tray of a copy machine: BLANK PAPER
Arrow pointing to the printed pages coming out of it: WHERE IS THE BLANK PAPER NOW?
19 M: IT'S EASIER TO LET GO OF MY BODY & MIND IF I GET A GOOD GRIP ON THEM FIRST
I does a cartwheel.
20 I: YOU'RE ALWAYS SQUIRMING AROUND LOOKING FOR THE BEST POSITION
M: LIKE A LOVER TRYING TO HIT THE RIGHT SPOT
21 Newspaper: HARD(ER) TIMES COMING[!] EVERYTHING IS GETTING WORSE[!] FASCISM! INFLATION! ENVIRONMENTAL CATASTROPHE
M: (only head pictured) HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE?
I: (arms and eyebrows raised) BY HELPING EACH OTHER OUT!!
M: I DUNNOW[;] THAT SOUNDS KIND OF SIMPLE
I: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO HELP SOMEONE OUT? IT'S NEVER SIMPLE
22 M: I REALLY WANT TO MEDITATE WITH OTHER PEOPLE…
I: BUT YOU'RE AFRAID TO BE AROUND ANYONE BECAUSE COVID
23 M: OH WELL, ALL THE BODHISATTVAS MEDITATE WITH ME
M is surrounded by little meditating figures with haloes.
24 CHECKING OUT ZEN FORUMS*, BLOGS, VIDEOS, PODCASTS
Smiling M face
GETTING EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED IN ZEN FEUDS, DOCTRINAL DISPUTES, PETTY RESENTMENTS, GENERAL NONSENSE
Frowning M face
I: STAY OFF THAT INTERNET
*FORA—ED.
25 M: AM I WASTING MY TIME SITTING HERE WONDERING WHETHER I'M WASTING MY TIME?
26 A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS THAT HAVE DRIVEN ME MUCH OF MY LIFE
I:l FIRST, ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE OR DIE
M: AFTER A PAINFUL & UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO DIE, I DECIDED TO LIVE
Arrow pointing to the next page
27 I: HAVING CHOSEN TO LIVE, NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SPEND YOUR TIME ON?
M: FAMILY[,] ZAZEN[,] ART
I: DON'T FORGET FUCKING AROUND
M: YES THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME TOO 🤍
*IF YOU CALL THIS SILLY STUFF ART
28 M: I JUST CAN'T GET OVER IT—SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET
M: BIG DEAL, YOU'RE WRONG ON THE INTERNET AND IN REAL LIFE
Chicken: AND IN COMICS
29 I: WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING THIS?
M: WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE?
APOLOGIES TO KŌDŌ SAWAKI
30 SHOUT OUTS THE EAST VILLAGE INKY BY AYUN HALLIDAY • MORTY COMICS AND CRANIUM FRENZY BY STEVE WILLIS • THE ADVENTURES OF TRON AND RICE! BY @DIMSUMDOOM • GABRIELLE BELL AND KEILOR ROBERTS GOTS NEW BOOKS OUT • DAVE CUOMO OF ANGEL CITY ZEN CENTER'S ONE-PERSON KOAN ACT-OUTS ON INSTAGRAM (HILARIOUS!) • MUHO (SEARCH “MY TEACHER'S HOUSE” ON YOUTUBE TO GET HIS ZEN TALKS IN ENGLISH) • SQUISHY BY LANCE WARD (BRUTAL!) • @MOVEMENTBYDAVID ON INSTAGRAM IS INSPIRING ME TO EXERCISE (!!) • TED'S CLOTHIER, ENGLEWOOD CO • PRAIRIE POTHOLE AND KING-CAT COMICS & STORIES BY the great JOHN PORCELLINO•
31 SOCIAL MEDIA SHAKEDOWN
SINCE CAPTAIN APARTHEID BLEW UP TWITTER[,] EVERYONE'S LOOKING FOR NEW PLATFORMS
@MeditationFunnies CAN NOW BE FOUND AT
COUNTER SOCIAL, COHOST, TUMBLR AND @MSTDN.PARTY AS WELL AS FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, AND GMAIL
@MeditationComix IS STILL ON TWITTER TIL THE BITTER END!
…AND WE CAN ALWAYS BE REACHED AT
PO BOX 200394, DENVER CO 80220
PS DONATE AT ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies IF YOU WANT TO
32 Ad for Mom & I.
Mom and I yelling empty word balloons at each other.
Text: NEW MINICOMIC: “MOM & I” $1
PAYPAL/VENMO: eliashiebert@comcast.net
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
CASH: PO BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
OR—DONATE A BUCK TO ANY ABORTION FUND AND LET ME KNOW! *NOT PP
ALL SALES DONATED TO: NATIONAL NETWORK OF ABORTION FUNDS
MF013 01 A hand holding up one finger and a hand holding up 3 fingers. Meditation Funnies logo. MAR-APR, FREE. lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
02 Epigraph from Ānāpānasati Sutta (“A monk, o Monks, goes into a forest, or to the foot of a great tree, or to a lonely place, and there sits down, cross-legged, holding his body upright, and practices Introspection. “He breathes in attentively, and attentively breathes out. Drawing in a long breath, he knows: ‘I drawing in a long breath,’ exhaling a long breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a long breath.’ Drawing in a short breath, he knows: ‘I am drawing in a short breath,’ exhaling a short breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a short breath.’)
03 I: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO HERE?
M: I'M TRYING TO SIT UP STRAIGHT
04 M holds thought bubbles by strings as if they are helium balloons. They say IDEA and THOUGHT.
I: ARN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO LET GO?
M: NO I'M HOLDING ON TIGHT TO THESE
05 Inside M are swirls and jagged lines labeled INNER TURMOIL
I: DID YOU GET IN A FIGHT ON TWITTER AGAIN? ARE YOU MISSING ISSUE 14 OF YOUR FAVORITE COMICAL BOOK? DID YOU STUB YOUR TOE? LOSE A GLOVE?
06 I: (making a silly face) WHAT MYSTICAL POWERS HAS YOUR PRACTICE GIVE YOU?
M: THE UNCANNY ABILITY TO ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE
07 I: (skeptical) REEEALLY?
M: IT COMES AND GOES
08 I: (grinning) “BE HERE NOW”
M: WHEN AND WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT???
09 M: I MAKE LITTLE MISTAKES BUT I DESERVE SOME SLACK! I DESERVE COMPASSION! I DESERVE PATIENCE & UNDERSTANDING!
I: (eyes wide, holding up hands) TAKE IT EASY[,] NO ONE ISN'T GIVING YOU THAT HERE
10 M: (gritted teeth) (thinking) OOH WHAT AN EMBARRASSING THOUGHT
I: (holding up hands) HOW CAN YOU BE EMBARRASSED WHEN YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE HERE?
11 I: (conspiratorially) &heiiop;YOU KNOW I'M YOU, RIGHT?
12 M thinks squiggles in outline format with portions moved and crossed out, as if laying out thoughts by hand.
I: (looking up at the thought bubble) SHOW YOUR WORK.
13 Pencil finishes drawing M. I stands atop the pencil.
I: YOU KNOW DRAWING IT ISN'T THE SAME AS DOING IT, RIGHT?
Cartoonist: GRRR…
14 M's thought bubble is crammed full of THOUGHTs going every which way. I grits teeth and tries to push another THOUGHT into it.
M: STOP! THERE'S NO MORE ROOM!
15 M's head hinges open. A brain with eyes and feet jumps out.
Brain: I'M OUTTA HERE
Cap: APOLOGIES TO JULIA WERTZ
16 Panel 1: A floating head with eyes and no other features looks at M from above. YOU CAN WATCH YOURSELF
Panel 2: A second floating head now looking at the first as it looks at M. OR YOU CAN WATCH YOURSELF WATCHING YOURSELF
17 Panel1: 6 floating heads all looking at each other (no M). YOU CAN CREATE AS MANY WATCHERS AS YOU LIKE
Panel 2: M: WHO WATCHES THE WATCHERS OF THE WATCHERS OF…
I looks at a comic book with the cover folded back. PLEASE, I'M TRYING TO READ A PIRATE COMIC
A smiley face in the bottom corner.
18 Panel 1: M sweeping up. FIRST CLEAN
Panel 2: M sitting. THEN ZAZEN
—SHUNRYŪ SUZUKI
19 M: SOMETIMES THE SILENCE IN THE ZENDO IS CRUSHING
Arrow pointing to the next page
20 BREATHE word balloons coming from 4 directions
M: OTHER TIMES…
21 ZAZENKAI (ALL-DAY SITTING)
M: (thinking) IN TWO HOURS I GET TO HAVE TEA[,] IN TWO HOURS I GET TO HAVE TEA[,] IN TWO HOURS I GET TO HAVE TEA
22 I: YOU'VE BEEN AT THIS AWHILE, HUH?
M: YUP.
I: NORMALLY YOU GET BORED WITH STUFF WAY FASTER
M: ER, I, UH…
23 Pencil finishing I
I: (looking at cartoonist) OF COURSE I WAS TALKING ABOUT MEDITATION AND THE COMIC
Cartoonist: I KNOW. I'M SURPRISED I COULD KEEP IT UP THIS LONG
24 Word balloons full of lines coming from off-panel. M with one really big ear toward them.
25 I stands on a stack of books: ZEN READER, ZEN MIND, ZEN BODY, ZEN ABS, PATH OF ZEN, PILLARS OF ZEN, HARDCORE ZEN, SPIRITUAL MATERIALISM, JOURNEY OF AWAKENING. I: WHAT ARE ALL THESE BOOKS FOR?
M: JUST TO ENCOURAGE ME TO MEDITATE


[ Holy shit I repeated this exact page from the previous issue!!! ]
26 M: IF YOU TELL PEOPLE YOU MEDITATE, THEY ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THEY CAN'T MEDITATE
I: (shrugging) GOOD THING YOU DON'T HAVE TO
M: YOU DON'T HAVE TO!
27 M: IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU TELL PEOPLE YOU DON'T DRINK. THEY ALWAYS SAY THEY SHOULD STOP OR THEY WON'T STOP[.] MY NOT DRINKING ISN'T ABOUT YOU!
I eyes half closed holds a drink with an umbrella in it
28 I: ARE YOU DOING IT FOR THE RIGHT REASON?
M: I DON'T THINK THE PRACTICE CARES WHAT YOUR REASON IS
29 I: STOP SQUIRMING!
30 M & I bow to each other
31 SHOUT OUT TO POSTAL CENTERS USA IN MAYFAIR, DENVER FOR BEING MY FRIENDS AND ALWAYS GIVING ME A GOOD DEAL ON COPIES

SHOUT OUT TO DONUTS TOWN ON EVANS & MONACO IN DENVER FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME AN EXTRA WHEN I BUY ONE

AS ALWAYS, SHOUT OUT TO THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
32 MEDITATION FUNNIES #13
©MMXXIII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
@MeditationFunnies ON SOCIALS OLD & NEW
FB, COHOST, COUNTER SOCIAL, TUBMLR, MSTDN.PARTY
BUT MOSTLY INSTAGRAM
@MeditationComix ON TWITTER
DONATE AT ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
OR DON'T! OR DO!
MF014 01 Cover. Closeup of mudra with I lounging inside it. MF logo. Corner box: #14, MAY-JUN, FREE, M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
02 M bows to cushion
03 I: EXHAUST YOURSELF
04 M: WATCHING MY BREATH CYCLE[.] WATCHING MY THOUGHTS ARISE
I: WATCHING YOUR FOOT FALL ASLEEP
05 M: FOR THE NEXT 30 MINUTES…IF I HAVE A THOUGHT[,] I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SIT HERE AND THINK IT[.] IF I HAVE A FEELING[,] I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SIT HERE AND FEEL IT[.] IF THERE IS A NOISE[,] I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SIT HERE AND HEAR IT.
I: YOU CAN ALWAYS DECIDE TO GET UP YOU KNOW
06 I: (incredulous) ARE YOU REALLY WORRIED OTHER PEOPLE WILL THINK YOUR PRACTICE ISN'T VALID?
07 M: (thinking) DON'T BE ATTACHED TO DUALITY[.] DON'T BE ATTACHED TO NON-DUALITY[.] DON'T BE ATTACHED TO NOT BEING ATTACHED
I: (cockeyed) WHAT A FUCKIN TIGHTROPE
08 M: (thinking) WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING?
09 I: WHY DID YOU CREATE ME ANYWAY?
M: YOU KEEP ME FROM GETTING POMPOUS […] AND SOMEHOW YOUR MAKING FUN OF MY PRACTICE MAKES ME WANT TO PRACTICE MORE
10 I: WHY DID YOU CREATE ME ANYWAY?
M: EVERY COMIC BOOK SUPERHERO NEEDS A BOY SIDEKICK
I: NOT A BOY, DUDE
11 M: SOMETIMES I'M SURPRISED TO FIND I'M NOT MISERABLE
12 Cap: I SKIPPED A DAY AND IT FELT LIKE I SKIPPED A WEEK
13 Pencil finishing up I
I: WHY ISN'T THIS A WEBCOMIC?
Cartoonist: WEBCOMIC ALWAYS HAVE EXTRA, HIDDEN JOKES. I CAN'T WRITE ALL THAT
I: MOST OF THE TIME YOU CAN'T WRITE ONE
M: (thinking) SOMETHING FUNNY
14 A pile of thought bubbles saying THOUGHT in roughly the shape of M
15 I turns on a big stand-up fan and blows all those thought bubbles away
16-17 Two-page spread. M's thought bubble and I's speech balloon stretch in parallel all the way across the spread.
M: Thinks of a castle
I: YOU GO THRU A LOT OF FANTASY ROUTINES WHEN YOU'RE SITTING THERE
M: The lines making the castle become dots
I: BUT EVENTUALLY
M: The dots start to turn into dashed lines, distorting the shape of the castle
I: THEY
M: Now there are just dashed lines, running up and down; the shape of the castle is entirely gone
I: DISSOLVE
18 NEW MIXTAPE!
“BOO-HOO”
JUST A FEW SONGS THAT COMFORTED ME AS I MOURNED A LITTLE OLD LADY WHO WOULDN'T LIKE MOST OF 'EM
DOWNLOAD AT:
Type: spideroak.com/browse/share/eliashiebert/tapes
OR SCAN HERE (arrow points to QR code)
19 PASSWORD: [type] hoaryhandsofhoggoth
ALSO AVAILABLE ON CD (little icon of a CD) OR USB DRIVE (little icon of a USB drive)
I KNOW YOUD RATHER HAVE A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OR WHATEVER BUT I DON'T DO THAT
IF YOU CAN'T DOWNLOAD AND PLAY AN MP3 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU!
ANNOTATED TRACKLIST AT:
MIXLOG.BLOGSPOT.COM
CONTENT NOTE: CONTAINS SONGS BY ONE COVID DENIER & ONE NAZI
20 M: LENGTHY EXPLANATION LENGTHY EXPLANATION LENGTHY EXPLANATION LENGTHY EXPLANATION [etc]
I: (balloons overlapping M's) OK [&Hellip;] OK BUT
M: THAT'S WHY I'M JUSTIFIED IN DOING WHAT I DID
I: (falling backward) NOBODY CARES!
21 M's head floats away from his body
I: (shouting thru cupped hand) COME BACK!
22 I: SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME ALL AN ARTIST CAN DO IS DESCRIBE WHAT'S IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES
M: ALL THAT'S IN FRONT OF MY EYES IS THIS DAMN WALL
23 I: SO YOU JUST SIT HERE FOR HALF AN HOUR AND ALL YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED?
M: EH, IT MIGHT TAKE AN HOUR
24 THERE IS NO
The following captions are skattered around the page, each accompanied by a little drawing of M doing that thing
DRAW DRAW DRAW
TYPE TYPE TYPE
WALK WALK WALK
FUCK FUCK FUCK 🤍
READ READ READ
THINK THINK THINK
EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE (M does a plank and goes RRRRR)
TALK TALK TALK (two heads facing each other go YAK YAK)
SUBSTITUTE
25 FOR MEDITATION
M sitting
AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT
26 M's head says: I THINK SOMEONE CAME UP WITH “GOALLESS PRACTICE” SO YOU DON'T GET HUNG UP ON ACHEIVING THE GOAL
A little meditating figure with 6 plewds says: OH NO! I LOST MY CONCENTRATION[!] I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING ENLIGHTENED!
M's head: …INSTEAD YOU GET HUNG UP ON NOT HAVING A GOAL
6-plewd little meditating person: OH NO! I TRIED TO GET ENLIGHTENED! I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE NO GOAL! OH NO! I'M GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF THIS! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE USELESS!
27 WATCH YOUR BREATH LIKE A MOTHER BIRD
M sitting
APOLOGIES TO LAO TZU AND UNCLE ALEISTER
28 I: DON'T SIT UP TOO STRAIGHT OR YOU'LL GET PROUD
29 I: HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO SIT THERE AND LOOK AT YOUR WORRIES AND SELF-DOUBTS?
M: UNTIL THEY BECOME BORING
30 M & I bow to each other
31 M. ELIAS HIEBERT FINALLY STARTED DRAWING WITH BLUE PENCIL LIKE EVERY BODY SAYS TO
ALL ISSUES OF MEDITATION FUNNIES ARE AVAILABLE FREE BY MAIL (INQUIRE BY SOCIAL MEDIA, EMAIL, OR POST) OR AT THE EAST COLFAX FREE BOOKSTORE, 7935 E. 14th Av. IN DENVER, OPEN SATURDAYS 4–6
WRITE TO
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
32 MED FUN NUMBER FOURTEEN ©MMXXIII BY M. Elias Hiebert PO BOX 200394 / DENVER CO 80220
ALWAYS FREE BUT DONATE IF YOU WISH
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
HIT UP @MeditationFunnies ON INSTAGRAM (COUNTERSOCIAL, TUMBLR, COHOST, FB, MSTDN.PARTY)
@MeditationComix ON TWITTAH
THANX TO JEN RUNTY FOR MANUFACTURING ASSISTANCE ON #s 13&14
THANX AS ALWAYS TO THE GOOD DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS & THE MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
an indefinite article, A PAGE OF TYPEWRITING IS AVAILABLE FOR A SASE
MF015 01 Cover. M sits with a screw twisting into the top of his head. The screw forms the T in the MF logo. No corner box. JUL-AUG FREE. Large #15. lonely place PRODUCTIONS across the bottom
02 “DON'T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADD EVEN A SINGLE SPECK ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF GOOD DEEDS”
—DŌGEN

MEDITATION FUNNIES #15
©MMXXIII by M. Elias Hiebert
T.D.S.S.M.M.I.
03 I: HEY. DO YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO ADVERTIZE A MIXTAPE WITH AN OLD (KAN)YE SONG ON IT, AND IDENTIFY HIM ONLY AS A “NAZI” WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION?
Cartoonist: NO. THAT PROBABLY LEFT SOME PEOPLE CONFUSED OR WORSE. I'M SORRY. WHETHER YOU LIKE YE'S MUSIC OR NOT, THIS NAZI SHIT IS NO JOKE
04 Empty cushion. I with hands on hips.
From off-panel: I DON'T WANNA!
05 M: SITTING HERE, SOMETIMES I HAVE SYMPATHY FOR MYSELF[,] SOMETIMES I JUST HAVE CRITICISM OF MYSELF
I: WELL, YOU CAN HAVE SYMPATHY FOR THE CRITIC
06 I: (yelling) STOP TRYING TO BE A BETTER PERSON!
07 I: (grinning) LOOK AT YOU, TRYING TO ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE
08 I: YOU DON'T GET A MEDAL FOR DOING WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO, Y'KNOW
M: THAT'S NOT TRUE. I CAN GIVE MYSELF AS MANY LITTLE MEDALS AS I WANT
09 M: SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME IT'S RUDE TO POKE AROUND IN SOMEONE ELSE'S UNCONSCIOUS MIND UNINVITED
I: (falling backward, throwing up arms) UNINVITED?? I WAS BORN THERE BUDDY
10 I: (reading book of Dōgen) “ZAZEN IS ONLY THE DHARMA GATE OF JOY AND EASE”
M: ALL THIS JOY AND EASE IS KILLING ME
11 M: YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET HUNG UP ON ENLIGHTENMENT[.] ONE SCHOOL OF THOUGHT SEZ SITTING IN THE PROPER POSTURE IS ITSELF ENLIGHTENMENT
I: (eyebrows raised, doing sort of a Boing with their body) NOW YOU CAN GET HUNG UP ON POSTURE!
M: (thinking) IS DIS DA PROPAH POSTCHUH?
12 MEDITATE ENUF THAT YOU GET BORED WITH YOUR OWN BULLSHIT
M sitting
13 M: I CAN SAY ANYTHING IN THESE COMIX[,] HOWEVER IGNORANT[,] ARROGANT[,] MISGUIDED[,] SAPPY…
I: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE ME HERE TO DEFLATE YOU
14 M has many coffee cups stacked up next to him
I: (looking at cups) YOU AREN'T BY ANY CHANCE SELF-MEDICATING?
15 I: WHAT'S THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THOUGHTS AND WORDS?
M: CAN'T SAY
16 I: WHAT'S THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THOUGHTS AND WORDS?
M: THOUGHTS ARE THE BUTTERFLIES[.] WORDS ARE THE PINS
17 Top M's head is hinged open, exposing brain with grawlix and motion lines around it
I: (holding up hands defensively) YOU'RE A LITTLE RAMBUNCTIOUS TODAY
M: I GOT A ITCHY BRAIN!!
18 M has a raincloud raining over him and other unfortunate things around him: a kite in a tree, a worm in an apple, a cracked egg, moths eating a sweater, a spilled bottle
19 I: (playing a guitar) YOU BALANCE ON YOUR CUSHION LIKE A MATRESS BALANCES ON A BOTTLE OF WINE
20 M: WHAT WAS YOUR FACE BEFORE YOUR PARENTS WERE BORN?
I: HOW MANY FEATHERS ON A PERDUE CHICKEN?
M: DOES A DOG HAVE BUDDHA NATURE?
WHAT DOES TUSH EHT LLEH PU MEAN?
Together: HOW MANY TIMES DID THE BATMOBILE CATCH A FLAT??
21 Thought bubble with arrows showing BREATH going thru a pipe
M: (smiling, looking up at the thought bubble) WHEN I WAS MEDITATING I FELT LIKE MY BODY WAS A HOLLOW PIPE
Thought bubble identical to the above except THOUGHT instead of BREATH
M: I FELT LIKE MY MIND WAS A HOLLOW PIPE TOO!
I: (hand over mouth) *YAWN* ANOTHER GREAT INSIGHT
22 M: eyes wide open, one pupil dialated, 2 plewds
Arrow pointing off panel: UNIDENTIFIABLE REPEATING NOISE
23 I: (V eyebrows) DON'T SNEEZE[,] DON'T COUGH[,] DON'T SWALLOW[,] DON'T YAWN[,] DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES[,] DON'T FALL OVER[,] DON'T SHIFT AROUND
M: one plewd
24 M: SOMETIMES MY BREATH FEELS LIKE WAVES ON A BEACH FAR AWAY
I: surfing in the distance
25 Panel 1: I BOW TO MY CUSHION[.] Small figure bows to their cushion, sun behind them
Panel 2: I BOW TO THE WORLD[.] The figure turns around and bows again, the sun in front of them
Panel 3: I SIT ON MY CUSHION[.] Figure sits facing away from the sun again. Arrow pointing to the WALL in front of them.
Panel 4: I STAND UP AND…LOOK! THERE'S THE WORLD AGAIN[.] Figure standing, once again facing the sun, eyes wide open, surprise line over head, hands in gassho.
26 Figure labeled STUDENT: DILEMMA.
Figure labeled TEACHER, with whisk (hossu): THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING TO RESOLVE THIS DILEMMA FOR YOU. GET BENT!
Teacher again (drawn slightly smaller nearer the bottom of the page): YOU WON'T EVEN GET ME TO ADMIT IT IS A DILEMMA
27 M: IF YOU NEVER MAKE A JUDGEMENT THAT ONE THING IS BETTER THAN ANOTHER
I: THEN YOU CAN'T BE HARMED
APOLOGIES TO SHENG YEN AND UNCLE ALEISTER
28 M: I LIKE TO USE “GOD” AS SHORTHAND FOR THE FORCE OF NATURE, THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, THE BIG IT…BUT SOME PEOPLE REALLY CRINGE WHEN I SAY IT
I: (yelling) LUCKY YOU, YOU CAN STAND TO HEAR THE WORD BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T ABUSED IN GOD'S NAME!
29 M large thought bubble with huge word PANIC filling it up completely. I drawn very small super shocked by it.
30 WHERE TO GET INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEDITATION
(NOT IN THIS COMIC BOOK – THAT'S FER SURE)
  1. FIND A LIVING TEACHER!
    IN YR HOMETOWN OR ON ZOOM
    JUST TAKES A LITTLE RESEARCH
  2. DŌGEN'S FUKANZAZENGI – THE CLASSIC!
    NUMEROUS TRANSLATIONS ONLINE
  3. THE ĀNĀPĀNASATI SUTRA OR “118th DISCOURSE”
    ONLINE OR IN “A BUDDHIST BIBLE” BY GODDARD
    VERY REPETITIVE—OLD INDIAN SUTRAS ARE LIKE THAT
  4. THE 3 PILLARS OF ZEN BY KAPLEAU HAS GOOD STUFF ON POSTURE IN THE BACK, INCLUDING TROUBLESHOOTING TIPS—WITH PICTURES!
31 PO BOX 200394 / DENVER CO 80220
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
@MeditationFunnies on [facebook logo] [instagram logo] [tumblr logo]
AND THE REST OF THEM
COHOST, COUNTERSOCIAL
NOT BLUE SKY YET
@MEDITATIONFUNNIES@MSTDN.PARTY
DONATE AT ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
OR DON'T OR DO!
32 M converses with the same 6-year-old from MF011.
M: DO YOU THINK IN WORDS?
6yo: NO.
M: WHAT THEN? IMAGES?
6yo: NO. THOUGHTS.
M: (plops)
MF016 01 Cover. M wears a BE A MEDIUM PERSON shirt. His head interrupts the MF logo. Corner box: #16, FREE, SEP-OCT, M logo. lonely place PRODUCTIONS across the bottom.
02 M: (standing, facing cushion, eyes downcast) HELLO, CUSHION
Cushion: IT'S BEEN AWHILE.
03 M: AAAAH[,] I FORGOT HOW GOOD THIS FEELS
04 I: DO YOU TAKE THIS WITH YOU INTO THE REST OF YOUR DAY?
M: THAT PART IS HARD
05 M: SITTING ZAZEN…IT'S THE ONLY TIME I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M DOING SOMETHING WRONG
I: AS SOON AS YOU STAND UP, YOU'RE CONVINCED YOU'RE FUCKING UP
Caption: SAD BUT TRUE DEP'T!
06 ALL ARTS ARE FUNDAMENTALLY EMBARRASSING
M writing a poem (Roses are… looking up, thinking of next line), singing a crooked note, dancing ballet, painting a sun (tongue out)
(BUT UNFORTUNATELY NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL)
07 I: (a little shocked) ALL HUMAN ACTIVITY IS EMBARRASSING IF YOU ASK ME
08 I: DO YOU STOP YOURSELF FROM THINKING?
M: IT'S MORE LIKE…I REALIZE I DON'T HAVE TO
09 I: DON'T HAVE TO WHAT? THINK, OR STOP YOURSELF?
M: …
10 I: (sitting, leaning on elbow, chin in hand) AREN'T YOU BORED WITH YOURSELF YET?
M: I'M FASCINATED WITH MYSELF. I'M BORED WITH EVERYONE ELSE.
11 From off-panel: NOISE.
M: (thinking) DON'T NOISE THE NOISE
12 Panel 1: Little guy walks along thinking: I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING WRONG AND SOMEONE'S GONNA YELL AT ME
Guy continues on, looking back behind him, thinking: I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING WRONG AND SOMEONE'S GONNA YELL AT ME
Another little person comes along the other way, eyes closed Jughead style, spiky hair, one hair sticking out in front.
Panel 3: Guy: (big mad face, yelling) HEY! YA GOING THE WRONG WAY YA [grawlix]
Person (eyes wide, jumping, that one hair standing up in surprise): !
Panel 4: Person continues walking, eye open, hair wilted, thinking: I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING WRONG AND SONEONE'S GONNA YELL AT ME
13 Pencil finishing I's foot.
I: YOU KNOW SOMEONE HAS TO HAVE DONE THAT EXACT STRIP BEFORE, RIGHT?
Cartoonist: SO WHAT? I FEEL IT IN MY HEART
In the bottom corner, the guy is walking, mad eyebrows, a scrbble inside his thought bubble
14 CHECK OUT
ELIASHIEBERT.COM (surrounded by emanata)
FOR ALL THE LINKS[,] SATURATED FAT TAPES[,] AND MORE
15 I: IS IT PRAYER
M: IT'S A LOT LIKE PRARYER[,] EXCEPT NO ONE'S PRAYING
16 GRANDPA PRAYED BEFORE THE FAMILY MEAL
HE WOULD GO ON
I OPENED MY EYES AND LOOKED AROUND
Three people with hands folded. Middle one has eyes open looking to the side. Other two have eyes closed.
SAW MY DAD ACROSS THE TABLE OPENING HIS EYES AND LOOKING AROUND
17 M: IS THIS UNIVERSE MATTER OR MIND?
I: NO MATTER[,] NEVER MIND
Caption: APOLOGIES TO RAM DASS
18 Stick figure standing on a hill raising a sword: I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!
I reclinging on a couch, eyes closed: EVERYONE WANTS TO DIE ON A HILL. I WANT TO DIE ON A COMFY COUCH
19 M: I DIDN'T KNOW IMPS COULD DIE
I: (rolling eyes) EVERYTHING DIES
M: YOU SURE?
20 M: I LEARNED THIS A LONG TIME AGO AND I SWEAR IT HOLDS TRUE EVERY TIME…THE THINK SOMEONE COMPLAINS ABOUT THE MOST, THEY DO THAT MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE
21 I: SO WHAT DO YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT?
M: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN
22 Caption: “an indefinite article”[,] a page of typewriting, is available for a SASE
M & I bow to each other
23 MEDITATION FUNNIES #16
©MMXXIII by M. Elias Hiebert

PO BOX 200394, DENVER CO 80220
MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL.COM
@MEDITATIONFUNNIES@MSTDN.PARTY
AND @EVERYWHERE ELSE
(MOSTLY INSTAGRAM)
@MEDITATIONCOMIX IS ON TWITTER
AND IS NEVER LEAVING
DONATE IF YOU WANT AT:
ko-fi.com/MEDITATIONFUNNIES
OR DON'T      OR DO!
24 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR CHILE SAUCE?
Various shaped bottles say: ROASTED! FERMENTED! SMOKED! CRUNCHY!
MF017 01 Cover. M's head is hinged opena and there's a bunch of files in there. I is up there throwing files and papers around. One of the files says MEDITATION FUNNIES. One of the papers says lonely place PRODUCTIONS. Corner box: #17, FREE, NOV-DEC, M icon
02 MEDITATION FUNNIES #17
©MMXXIII by M. Elias Hiebert
M bows to cushion
03 PROUDLY
M, usual posture and downcast eyes, giving thumbs up
DOING IT WRONG
04 “WE DON'T GET BETTER AT IT
…WE GET USED TO IT”
M sitting
—REV. ZUIKO REDDING
05 M: 3 thought bubbles: The one in the middle says THOUGHT
In the one on the left, M points to the THOUGHT and says THAT DOESN'T BELONG HERE
In the one on the right, M shrugs and says ANYTHING BELONGS HERE
06 M: DON'T JUDGE YOUR THOUGHTS[.] BUT AM I JUDGING MY JUDGEMENTS OF MY THOUGHTS?
07 I: ARE YOU ATTACHED TO IT?
M: KINDA
08 I: IT'S OKAY TO ENJOY IT
09 I: IT'S OK TO WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT
10 DAVE CUOMO* ON JUDGING YOUR OWN ZAZEN
Dave Cuomo: I ALWAYS GIVE MYSELF AN A+!
ACZC.ORG
11 M: WHEN WILL I BE FREE?
I: THIS IS AS FREE AS YOU'RE GONNA GET
12 Top to bottom: wavy lines, snow-covered mountain peak with emanata, foothills
HIGH MOUNTAIN SHINING ORANGE IN THE SUN
GRAY CLOUDS A FROZEN RIVER OVERHEAD
13 Moon with face. Clouds around it.
SUPER MOON
29 SEPTEMBER 2023 6:20 AM
14 I: WHAT IS THE GREATEST PLEASURE IN YOUR (WEIRD, HUMAN) LIFE? FOOD? SEX? MUSIC? ART? MEDITATION?
NO, THE GREATEST PLEASURE IS COMPANIONSHIP. THAT I WHAT MAKES ALL OTHER PLEASURES WORTHWHILE[.] INCLUDING SOLITUDE
15 I: DO I COUNT (EVEN THO I'M PART OF YOU?)
IF I HAVE ONLY MYSELF FOR COMPANY, THEN THAT'S GOOD ENUF.
16 M: I READ ABOUT PEOPLE'S ENLIGHTENMENT EXPERIENCES AND IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A NASTY DRUG TRIP
I: MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO COMPARE IT TO
17 M: HATE DOESN'T BEAT HATE[.] LOVE BEATS HATE[.] DR. KING SAIT IT[.] SHAKYAMUNI SAID IT BEFORE HIM[.] …AND IT WAS OLD EVEN THEN. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE…
I: BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS IN PRACTICE
18 Cartoonist: (pen (JAPAN) poking in from off panel, dollop of ink coming off the pen) I INVENTED YOU TWO TO DEBATE, SO DEBATE!
M & I (lounging with feed up, arms behind head, eyes closed) together: NAH, SKIP IT!
19 I: (looking at book of KOANS) THESE SEEM LIKE JOKES PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TAKING WAY TOO SERIOUSLY FOR 100s OF YEARS
M: MOO
20 Cap: ZOOM SITTING
M: (thinking) HE SAID 40 MINUTES. IT MUST BE 40 MINUTES BY NOW
Laptop is unplugged with sick face
21 KANNON*'s 1000 HELPING HANDS

M on left, I on right, Avalokiteshvara in middle. They hold out their hands. The are surrounded by disembodied hands.

ARE YOURS AND MINE
*AVALOKITEŚVARA, THE BODHISATTVA OF COMPASSION
22 M & I bow to each other
23 MORE INSPIRATIONS: BEANWORLD, SCOTT McCLOUD (5 LITTLE COMICS SHOWED ME THE POSSIBILITES OF THE MINICOMIC FORM), JEFF LeVINE, WM. STEIG, S. STEINBERG, DIANE WHO MAKE ME LOVE COMICS, ALAN MY FIRST COLLABORATOR, SHARY FLENNIKEN, EC [cigar], GEORGE SWANSON & ALL THE MASTERS OF EARLY 20th C. COMICS
24 WRITE!
PO BOX 200394/DENVER CO 80220
OR MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL.COM
OR @MEDITATIONFUNNIES ON INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR [type]now bsky too![/type]
MSTDN.PARTY, ETC, ETC
@MEDITATIONCOMIX ON TWITTER (STILL)
DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
OR DON'T        OR DO!
MF019 01 Cover. A lotus without petals crossed with a staff topped with a circle and a semicircle, intended to be a very stylized caduceus. MF logo. Corner box: #19, FREE, MAR-APR, M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
02 I: (sitting lotus, patting the cushion next to him (PAT PAT)) COME SEE WHAT HAPPENS
03 I: IS BUDDHISM YOUR RELIGION?
M: NO, COMICS IS
04 I: ARE YOU…NAKED?
M: NO, THE CARTOONIST JUST DOESN'T BOTHER TO DRAW MY CLOTHES
I: WELL HE DOESN'T DRAW OUR ARMS EITHER, SO
Cartoonist: (ink dribbling out of pen (JAPAN)) IF I DOESN'T NEED IT, I DOESN'T DRAW IT!
05 M: TIME TO TAKE A FEW HUNDRED BREATHS
I: DIE A FEW HUNDRED TIMES
Cap: KEN TETSUZAN MORGAREIDGE (FORMERLY OF ZEN CENTER OF DENVER) SAID TO PRACTICE DYING WITH EACH EXHALE AND BEING BORN WITH EACH INHALE
06 M is surrounded by 3 smoke demons labeled FEAR, ANGER, and DISPAIR
I: IS MEDITATION SUPPOSED TO MAKE THOSE GUYS GO AWAY?
M: NO, BUT IT MAKES THEM A LITTLE EASIER TO LIVE WITH
07 M: WHICH ONE OF US IS THE “STRAIGHT MAN”?
I: WE TAKE TURNS
Sign I is holding: NOT A MAN
Sign next to him: OR STR8
08 I: IS YOUR MIND PART OF YOUR BODY OR IS YOUR BODY PART OF YOUR MIND?
09 I: (reading DOGEN) “THINK THE THOUGHT OF NON THINKING”*
M: THAT'S WHAT THE MAN SEZ
I: YOU DON'T.
M: SOMETIMES I DO
M: (thinking) …BUT OFTEN WHEN I SIT DOWN, I SECRETLY THINK…“GOOD THING I HAVE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT TO GET THRU THIS SESSION”
*FUKANZAZENGI
10 M: THE MAN ALSO SEZ THAT THE WHOLE UNIVERSE REALIZES THE DHARMA IF YOU DO IT RIGHT FOR EVEN ONE MOMENT* (OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT)
I: YOU THINK THAT'S AN EXCUSE FOR HALF-ASSING IT THE REST OF THE TIME?
*BENDOWA
11 M: THE NONTHOUGHT IS ALWAYS THERE BENEATH THE THOUGHT[.] LIKE THE SILENCE IS ALWAYS THERE BENEATH THE SOUND[.] LIKE NOTHING IS ALWAYS THERE BENEATH SOMETHING
12 I: WHAT'S “MINDFULNESS”?
M: IT'S A FANCY WORD FOR PAYING ATTENTION
13 I: SEEMS LIKE “MINDFULNESS” IS A LITTLE GAME YOU PLAY WHEN YOU'RE BORED
14 I holds a trowel. He is building a brick wall in front of M.
15 Balloons surround M, all labeled THOUGHT. I, kneeling on a couple of the balloons, pops some of the others with a pin. Squeans and the jumbled up letters of THOUGHT remain floating in the air.
16 Cartoonist: (finishing I's horn with AUSTRIA pencil) PEOPLE TOLD ME THEY ACTUALLY LIKE THESE COMICS, AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO LIVE UP TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS
I: YOU HUMBLE-BRAGGING MOTHER-FUCKER
M: thinks of a flower for some reason
17 I: WHY'D IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO START THIS ZINE?
Cartoonist: (finishing I's foot with AUSTRIA pencil) I THOUGHT I HAD NOTHING TO SAY[.] AND I THOUGHT ART WAS BULLSHIT
18 I: (eyebrows raised) YOU THOUGHT ART WAS BULLSHIT?
Cartoonist: (finishing I's foot with JAPAN pen) NOT OTHER PEOPLE'S[.] JUST MINE
19 I: YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A CARTOONIST
Cartoonist: (erasing I's foot with an ARTGUM eraser) OH YES
I: YOU'RE HAPPIER WHEN YOU'RE CREATING SOMETHING
Cartoonist: FER SHER
I: SO WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG?!
Cartoonist: SELF-KNOWLEDGE TAKES A LONG TIME TO ACQUIRE
M: SELF-ACCEPTANCE TAKES EVEN LONGER
20 Top caption: JOY IN
M: (thinking) EVERY BREATH IS NEW[.] IT'S DIFFERENT[.] IT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
IMPERMANENCE
21 I Looks up at a star. M's eyes are downcast as usual.
22 M & I bow to each other
23 MEDITATION FUNNIES #19
©MMXXIIII
by M. Elias Hiebert
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL.COM
@MEDITATIONFUNNIES ON THE SOCIALS
…BUT I'M LOCKED RIGHT NOW CUZ I'M TRYNA FINDA JOB
24 3 heads in a row: Avalokiteśvara, Shakyamuni, Hermes
MF020 01 Cover. Hermes. MF logo partly obscured by H's hat. Corner box: #20, FREE, MAY-JUN, M icon. lonely place PRODUCTIONS across the bottom.
02 Epigraph: “EVERY JUMBLED PILE OF PERSON HAS A THINKING PART THAT WONDERS WHAT THE PART THAT ISN'T THINKING ISN'T THINKING OF”
—THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
03 M: Crossed eyebrows, scribble in his thought bubble
I: (rolling eyes and throwing up hands) OH, YOU'RE SOOO MAND BECUZ EVERYTHING ISN'T EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT IT
04 M: Crossed eyebrows, mouth a squiggle, spiral inside his thought bubble
I: FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL
05 Panel 1: M with crossed eybrows. Cap: WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY, HAVE ANGRY ZAZEN
Panel 2: M with half-closed eyes. Cap: WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPY, HAVE SLEEPY ZAZEN
Cap: —ROB'T AITKEN, TAKING THE PATH OF ZEN
06 The Slough of Despond bubbles up over M & I
I: (pulling his foot out, frowning) WHEN YOU'RE MIRED IN SADNESS? AND YOU CAN'T GET OUT? WHAT DO YOU DO THEN?
M: I JUST TRY TO KEEP UP ON THE DISHES AND MAKE ART
07 I: WHAT IS YOUR WORLD?
M: A METAPHOR FOR A METAPHOR FOR A METAPHOR FOR A METAPHOR FOR A METAPHOR FOR A…
I: (raising eyebrow) TURTLES ALL THE WAY DOWN?
08 GYOKEI YOKOYAMA ROSHI'S ON-THE-FLY TRANSLATION OF YAOSHAN'S “NONTHINKING” ROUTINE (CASE 129 IN DOGEN'S [Dōgen] TREASURY OF 300 KOAN)
Gyokei: I AM THINKING OF THE PART WHERE THINKING DOES NOT REACH
M: Big exclamation mark over head, eyes wide open
FROM THE ACZC PODCAST, 9 FEB 2024
09 I: (looking at M's head with microscope) YOU GOT A LOT A STUFF IN YORE BRAIN
10 I: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: MORE OF THIS
11 Words encircle M: THE DHARMA GATE OF JOY AND EASE
12 Panel 1
Stick figure with circle head shakes hand with stick figure with square head
Circle Head: [squiggle]
Square Head: HA HA
Caption: HAVE A PERFECTLY PLEASANT INTERACTION
Panel 2
Circle Head walks away head down, under a cloud of SHAME
Caption: …FEEL WEIRD & BAD ABOUT IT
Panel 3
Circle Head: (limbs and torso wobbling) UM&Hhellip;
Stick figure with triangle head: ?
Caption: HAVE AN AWKWARD INTERACTION
Panel 4
Circle Head walks away head down, under a cloud of SHAME
Caption: …FEEL WEIRD & BAD ABOUT IT
Panel 5
Circle Head: (stands up tall with his arms out) !
Stick figure with upside-down triangle head: (cowering, hands up defensively) WHAT THE FUCK?
Panel 6
Circle Head walks away head down, under a cloud of SHAME
Caption: …FEEL WEIRD & BAD ABOUT IT
13 I: SO YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL LIKE SHIT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS?
M: SIGNS POINT TO YES
I: I GUESS YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THEN
14 FEELING FREE AS HELL
15 BECAUSE I KNOW I'M JUST SITTING HERE
16 M: SOMEONE (NOT A ZEN PRACTITIONER PROBABLY) SAID KOAN “SHORT-CIRCUIT YOUR MIND” SO YOU TRANSCEND DUALISTIC THINKING
I: THEY'RE THINKING OF JOKES. JOKES DO THAT.
17 NATURALLY SALIVA COMES INTO THE MOUTH, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T SWALLOW IT ALL AT ONCE. LITTLE BY LITTLE YOU SHOULD LET IT GO DOWN WITHOUT NOTICING IT. IF YOU NOTICE IT, IT COMES MORE AND MORE AND YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. SALIVA IS VERY IMPORTANT.
—KŌBUN CHINO OTOGAWA
M: (word balloon coming from throat) [squiggle]GULP!
18 M surrounded by 4 thought bubbles that say THING FROM THE PAST I FEEL BAD ABOUT
19 Sun comes out and thought bubbles retreat like clouds
20 Caption: I LIKE TO SIT EARLY IN THE MORNING WHILE MY FAMILY IS STILL ASLEEP
Word balloons from off-panel:
BREATHE
*RUSTLE*
SNORE
21 YOU CAN GET ME @
THE MONTCLAIR STATION
(SHOUT OUT TO THE MONTCLAIR STATION)
PO BOX 200394, DENVER CO 80220
MEDITATIONFUNNIES
ON INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR, BLOOSki
MSTDN.PARTY
COHOST TOO
MEDITATIONCOMIX ON TWITTER
(SOME ARE PRIVATE; SEND A REQUEST)
MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL.COM
22 PLEASE ENJOY THIS BEAST I DREW
Beast with a goatee, horns, spiked bulb on tail, four 3-toed feet, stripes, pointy ear
23 PLEASE ENJOY THIS ROBOT I DREW
Robot with heels, antennae, snakey arms, grabber hands, belt on front
PLEASE DRAW ME A BEAST OR A ROBOT.
SENT IT TO
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
24 MED FUN NUMBER 20
Fist holding stylized caduceus
©MMXXIIII
by M. Elias Hiebert
MF021 01 Cover. END OF THE WORLD! Earth breaking apart. MF logo. Corner box: #21, FREE, JUL-AUG, M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 Panel 1:
SOMEDAY EVERYTHING
A mountain, a Saturn, a foot, a kitty
Panel 2:
WILL BE WORN DOWN TO NOTHING:
No picture
03 IMAGINE THAT!
ENTROPY ALWAYS INCREASES
THE CONTINENTS WILL NEVER COME TOGETHER AGAIN
SOMEBODY SAID,
IF YOU DROP A CARTON OF EGGS ON THE FLOOR,
YOU DON'T END UP WITH AN OMLET

SOMEDAY THERE WILL BE NO OMLETS LEFT IN THE UNIVERSE AT ALL!
04 (words going every which way)
NO OMLETS
NO CHICKENS
NO EARTHLINGS
NO ALIENS
NO GROUND
NO VOICES
NO LIGHT
NO EYES TO SEE IT WITH
05 NOTHING BUG CHAOS FOREVER
Scattering of dots
I; EAT YE OMLETS WHILE YE MAY, KIDS
Chicken: I'M A VEGAN
06 I: ARE YOU A ZEN PRACTITIONER?
M: I'D LIKE TO THINK I'M A FELLOW TRAVELER
I: YOU MEAN A DILETTANTE
M: YOU REALLY KNOW WHERE MY INSECURITIES LIE
I: I OUGHT TO
07 M: I CAN TELL EXACTLY HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED BY HOW MUCH FEELING IS LEFT IN MY FOOT*
M's foot: ZZZZ
I wears big black shoes and does a little dance
*TOTALLY TRUE!—ED.
08 Empty cushion
I: (looking off-panel) WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT HOW LONG YOU CAN GO WITHOUT IT?
09 M: (whole body buzzing) I'M NOT HOOKED!
10 M: MY BACK HURTS
Cartoonist: (finishing M's hair with MEXICO pencil) MINE TOO.
11 SITTING ZAZEN WITH THE RIGHT POSTURE IS GOOD FOR YOUR BACK. HUNCHING OVER A DESK IS BAD FOR YOUR BACK. MAYBE THEY'RE CANCELLING EACH OTHER OUT??
12 M: (thinking) WHAT DOES IT MATTER I'M DOING IT WRONG? I'M DOING IT!
13 MEDITATING IN SPRING / EARLY SUMMER
Moths on M, on the walls, etc
*ACRONICTA LEPORINA (MILLER MOTH)
14 M: DEEP BUT RELATABLE THOUGHT
I: (arms spread) HILARIOUS WISECRACK!
15 Panel 1:
M draws a stick figure. Swoopy-haired foil with scarf looks on.
M: I LOVE MAKING BAD ART!
Panel 2:
Foil: GOOD! YOU HAVE TO MAKE BAD ART BEFORE YOU CAN GET BETTER
Panel 3:
M: (angry) GET BETTER?! I HAVE NO INTENTION OF GETTING BETTER!
Foil: (plops)
Caption: I'M ALREADY PERFICK!
16 M: WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS GUY?
Smoke demon labeled ANGER, SHAME, WHAT HAVE U: BE ME
17 BE YOUR BULLSHIT
U CAN'T ESCAPE IT
U CAN'T ERADICATE IT
U CAN ONLY BE IT
Smoke demon is wrapped around M
18 M is sitting in between two ghost M's (outlines made of dashed lines). One is labeled THE PERSON I WISH I WASN'T. The other is labeled THE PERSON I WISH I WAS. M is labeled THE PERSON I AM
19 Panel 1: The 3 M's converge
Panel 2: M: WE ARE ONE
20 M: (one eye open, looking at I) WHATCHA DOING?
I: (kneeling down, writing) WRITING A LETTER TO MY BROTHER
M: YOU HAVE A BROTHER?!
21 A saguaro sits in lotus position. An imp with a scraggly mustache a la Snoopy's brother Spike rolls their eyes.
22 BEAST #477813
ROBOT #1199889 (big ticker tape coming out of its mouth)
THANK YOU FOR THE BEASTS & ROBOTS
KEEP 'EM COMING
23 PLEASE WRITE
BOXHOLDER
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL
@MEDITATIONFUNNIES ON THE SOCIALS
@MEDITATIONCOMIX ON TWITTER
DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MEDITATIONFUNNIES
…OR DON'T        OR DO!
24 MEDITATION FUNNIES #21
©MMXXIIII by M. Elias Hiebert
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE

APOLOGIES TO CHAS. M. SCHULZ—THE GREATEST
MF022 01 Cover. I, smiling, produces a hand of cards with 5 aces. MF logo behind I. Corner box: #22, FREE, SEP-OCT, M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
02 I: WHY'Z THIS MAG ALWAYS FREE?
Cartoonist: (finishing I's foot with JAPAN pen) CUZ TRYING TO SELL STUFF IS JUST SO EMBARRASSING!
Cap: FAQ DEP'T!
03 Panel 1: I: STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT!
Panel 2: I: STOP SETTLING FOR JUST GOOD ENOUGH!
04 Disembodied M head above M: PLZ PAY ATTENTION[.] YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING
05 M: AHH, THIS FEELS GOOD
I: BUT IF IT DOESN'T HURT, HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S WORKING?
M: IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO “WORK”
06 I: ARE YOU STILL LIBERATING ALL BEINGS?
M: IT'S OK TO DO THIS JUST FOR YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND. A TEACHER TOLD ME SO.
07 M: leaning over
I: FEEL A LITTLE OFF-BALANCE?
08 EVERYTHING WE HAVE IN LIFE IS ABOUT PATTERNS, THE SAME OR DIFFERENT. WE ARE CONSTANTLY OSCILLATING BETWEEN THE SAME AND DIFFERENT
—YO YO MA, INTERVIEWED ON FRESH AIR
M: on his cushion upside down
I: (looking off-panel) YOU DRAW THE SAME THING ON EVERY PAGE
M: (ink dribbling out of JAPAN pen) BUT DIFFERENT!
09 Empty cushion.
From off-panel: YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE THINGS YOU WERE GOING TO DO AND YOU DECIDE NOT TO DO THEM? IT'S A GREAT FEELING, ISN'T IT
10 M: I'M HAPPY WITH MYSELF IF I TAKE THE TIME TO BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF[.] I'M HAPPY WITH MY LIFE IF I TAKE THE TIME TO BE HAPPY WITH MY LIFE
11 IF YOU CAN'T BE OKAY WITH IT, YOU CAN BE OKAY WITH NOT BEING OKAY WITH IT. IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, YOU CAN BE OKAY WITH NOT BEING OKAY WITH NOT BEING OKAY WITH IT
…ETC
I tipping over with x-es for eyes and a spurl
12 RUNNING AWAY FROM AN AWKWARD INTERACTION
Stick figure shrugging with ? over head
M: (running away) I DID MY BEEEEEST!!!
13 Beast with spines, horns, pig nose, stringy tail: DID SOMEONE SAY BEAST
Boxy robot/computer on wheels with large tape drive: NO!
PLZ DRAW ME A BEAST OR A ROBOT. SEND IT TO:
BOXHOLDER • PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
KEEP EM COMING BABIES!
14 Books: DAY CART, ALAN 💡, SCHOPEN HOWZER
M: I READ & I PONDERED AND I CAME UP WITH A LOT OF IDEAS ABOUT WHAT THIS WORLD REALLY IS…
I: YOU CAME UP WITH A LOT OF CLEVER WAYS OF AVOIDING THE QUESTION
15 M: YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S UNKNOWABLE.
I: (hand over face) NOW YOU'RE REEEEEALLY AVOIDING THE QUESTION
16 Chicken: UNKNOWABLE AND SELF-EVIDENT. BOING!
17 “EVEN IF THE BUDDHA HIMSELF APPEARS TO WELCOME US… THIS IS THE REALM OF GHOSTS AND NO MORE.”
—ROSEN TAKASHINA*
Photo of Buddha statue: Hi. I'm Buddha.
*SLIGHT PARAPHRASE
18 DON'T THINK OF GOOD OR BAD
—FUKANZAZENGI
Half of M is regular black & white; half is negative image white & black
I: WHAT IS THIS A BAD STAR TREK EPISODE?
19 “WHEN IT OVERWHELMS YOU, LET IT OVERWHELM YOU”
—MUHO*
M's face is very agitated
*INTERVIEWED ON YOUTOOB CHANNEL UNPACKING JAPAN
(SEE YOUTOOB CHANNEL MY TEACHER'S HOUSE FOR MUHO'S TALKS IN ENGLISH)
20 Virus floating in the air around M & I.
I: NOW WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE FOR NOT GOING TO THE ZENDO?
M: WELL I'M STILL NOT ENTHUSED ABOUT SHARING THE AIR
I: BUT YOU DO LOTS OF OTHER THINGS (THAT ARE LESS IMPORTANT) WHILE SHARING THE AIR, WITH A MASK ON
M: THEN THERE'S MY SCHEDULE…FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES…
I: (rolling eyes) UH-HUH
21 M: …AND OTHER PEOPLE ARE SO HARD TO DEAL WITH. I WISH I COULD JUST GO AND SIT AND BOW AND LEAVE. SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE'S ON MY CASE.
I: (throwing up their hands) DEALING WITH OTHER PEOPLE? THAT'S SANGHA PRACTICE, YA POOG!
22 I: IF YA RENOUNCE TH' BAD STUFF, YA GOTTA RENOUNCE TH' GOOD STUFF TOO, Y'KNOW
Cap: KARMA IS KARMA!
23 MEDITATION FUNNIES #22
©MMXXIIII by M. ELIAS HIEBERT
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE

@MEDITATIONFUNNIES@EVERYWHERE
@MEDITATIONCOMIX ON TWITTER
MSTDN.PARTY TOO

DONATE AT KO-FI.COM/MEDITATIONFUNNIES

FREE PALESTINE
24 BOXHOLDER
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
SEND A TRADE, YA POOG!
MF023 01 Cover. M's mouth is open very wide and a smoke demon emerges from it. MF logo. Corner box: 23, FREE, M icon, NOV-DEC. lonely place PRODUCTIONS banner at bottom.
02 DISCLAIMER:
THE CONTENTS OF THIS ZINE ARE NOT (EVER) MEANT TO BE INSTRUCTIVE, JUST MILDLY ENTERTAINING
I JUST LIKE TO DO ZAZEN
I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MEDITATION OR ZEN OR BUDDHISM
03 I: YOU GETTING ANYWHERE?
M: FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING??
I: DON'T GET SENSITIVE.
04 I: STOP HAVING OPINIONS!
05 I: QUIT BEING RIGHT
I: JUST GIVE IT UP
I: YA POOG
06 I: YOU REGRET THE SILLIEST SHIT
07 HOW TO BE FRIEND
Picture of mailbox, flag up
SEND YR FRIENDS SOME USELESS SHIT IN THE MAIL EVERY MONTH
M shrugging, eyes open
I DUNNO…THAT'S THE BEST IDEA I GOT
08 M: I HAVE BEEN CRUEL TO PEOPLE BECAUSE I ENJOYED BEING CRUEL … THAT IS HARD TO ACCEPT
I: (holding a knife) CAN'T RELATE.
09 M: I FINALLY LEARNED …IF I DON'T EXERCISE FOR A WHILE, MY BRAIN STOPS WORKING. IF I DON'T STRETCH FOR A WHILE, MY BODY STOPS WORKING.
I: AND IF YOU DON'T MEDITATE?
Miniature smoke demon: I START WORKING
10 Two tubular, spiky-haired guys look at each other.
First one: WHEN I CALL MYSELF AN IDIOT FOR MAKING A SMALL MISTAKE…IT DOESN'T MEAN I THINK YOU'RE AN IDIOT WHEN YOU DO THE SAME THING. I MEAN… UM.
The other one looks back with narrow eyes, hair back, one eyebrow raised.
11 DO NOT INDULGE IN ANGER
THE 9th GRAVE PRECEPT
M drinks from a bottle labeled ANGER. GLUG GLUG GLUG
12 I GOT SOBER FROM THIS ONE. IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS.
Arrow pointing to a bottle labeled XXX
I NEED TO GET SOBER FROM THIS ONE. IT'S DAY 4.
Arrow pointing to a bottle labeled ANGER
“NOT CONTRIVING REALITY FOR THE SELF”—BODHIDHARMA“
“NOT ADVANCING, NOT RETREATING, NOT REAL, NOT EMPTY”—DŌGEN
13 THE 10 GRAVE PRECEPTS
(IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING)
  1. NO KILLING
  2. NO STEALING
  3. NO ABUSING SEX
  4. NO LYING
  5. NO ALCOHOL
  6. NO GOSSIP
  7. NO BRAGGING
  8. NO STINGINESS
  9. NO INDULGING ANGER
  10. NO INSULTING BUDDHA!
I: MONKS VOW TO DO ALL THAT? GOOD THING YOU AIN'T NO MONK
M: IT'S GOOD ADVICE NONETHELESS
14 Shakyamuni: (crossed eyebrows) DON'T DISPARAGE ME YA POOG!
15 I LOVE RECEIVING YR BEASTS & ROBOTS
KEEP SENDING—ADDRESS ON LAST PAGE
Robot & beast
I'M THINKING OF DOING A ZINE
SO LET ME KNO IF I CAN PUBLISH YRS
AND HOW U WANT YR NAME TO APPEAR IN THE CREDITS
16 M: *SIGH* OCTOBER ALREADY…
I: (lounging) TIME PASSES CONSTANTLY[,] YET YOU HUMANS NEVER FAIL TO BE DISTRESSED BY TIME PASSING
M: WELL WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH OF IT Y'KNOW!
17 BE TIRED.
BE SAD.
BE CONFUSED.
BE.

I: I H8 POETRY
18 I USED TO THINK NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WERE SOMETHING I COULD BATTLE…
M, eyebrows crossed, teeth gritted, lunges and drives a sword thru a smoke demon
19 …AND DEFEAT
Smoke demon is horizonal with x-es in its eyes. M, still angry eyebrows and gritted teeth, puts a foot up on the smoke demon and raises his sword in triumph.
I: REGULAR ST. GEORGE
20 Smoke demon: (winding itself around M, who is now sitting in his usual pose) SILLY IDEA
M: I KNOW. BUT…
21 …MAYBE THEY'RE SOMETHING i CAN ACCEPT
Panel 1: Smoke demon next to M: I'M IMPORTANT!
Panel 2: M (patting head of smoke demon, now shrunk to miniature size (PAT PAT)): OF COURSE YOU ARE
AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT
22 MUCHO THANKS TO OUR DONORS!!!
IF U WANT TO SUPPORT
I COULD USE IT
YOU CAN MAIL WELL-CONCEALED CASH, STAMPS, OR CHEQUES
ADDRESS (arrow pointing to next page)
OR YOU CAN
PAYPAL ME
eliashiebert@comcast.net
VENMO ME
@Matthew-Hiebert-1
KO FI ME
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
OR DON'T…        OR DO!
23 MEDITATION FUNNIES #23
©MMXXIIII by M. ELIAS HIEBERT
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DR. STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
BOXHOLDER
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
ELIASHIEBERT.COM/COMIX*
HAS LINKS TO MY SOCIALS AND MY “BLOG”
VIVA PALESTINE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADH
*YOU'LL SEE MY APPROACH TO “WEB DESIGN” IS SIMILAR TO MY APPROACH TO CARTOONING
24 Smoke demon has now turned into a cloud with raised eyebrows.
MF024 01 Cover. Heads of our characters: Smoke demon, Avalokiteśvara, Śāriputra, I, Shakyamuni, M, Chicken, Hermes. MF logo. Corner box: 24, FREE, JAN-FEB, lonely place PRODUCTIONS banner at bottom.
02 A dip pen and a few thought bubbles
Cartoonist: HM, WHICH OF THESE IDEAS SHOULD I DRAW FIRST?
I: YOU SHOULD START WITH THE HARDEST ONE, FUCK IT UP, GET FRUSTRATED, AND GO FOR AN EASIER ONE
03 I: (grinning) LOOK AT YOU! SITTING UP SO STRAIGHT TODAY!
M: knife in thought bubble
04 I: WHAT ARE YOU FEELING BAD ABOUT TODAY?
M: ALL THE TIMES I ROBBED MYSELF BY NOT DOING MY BEST
Chicken: YOU ROBBED OTHER PEOPLE TOO. DON'T FORGET.
05 I: HURRY UP!
06 Guy with crossed eyebrows holding up a fork: READ BETWEEN THE TINES
07 WHEN I FIRST TRIED TO MEDITATE[,] I BREATHED LIKE:
Diagram of person sitting on cushion with an in arrow toward nose and an out arrow from gut thinking: IN-2-3-4
Same diagram with arrows going opposite ways thinking: OUT-2-3-4
WHEN I FIRST REALIZED I COULD JUST WATCH MY BREATH GO ON ITS OWN…
IT WAS A REVELATION
M with emanata around head
08 M: I WISH I COULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE'S MINDS
I: (throwing up hands) YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE YOUR OWN!
I: I LOVE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT THERE AINT NO MIND AND THERE AINT NO SEEING
09 Two thought bubbles thinking each other: THERE IS NO MIND and THERE IS NOTHING BUT MIND
10 YOU CAN'T USE THE MIND TO EXAMINE THE MIND
I with crossed eyes
LIKE YOU CANT LOOK AT THE LENS OF THE MICROSCOPE UNDER THE LENS OF THE MICROSCOPE
YOU'RE JUST GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES
11 THE TIP OF THE PEN CAN'T WRITE ON THE TIP OF THE PEN
Dip pen with the tip twisted around
12 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU STOP SPINNING THE PLATES IN YOUR MIND
M, with furrowed brow, thinks of himself spinning plates
AND REST AWHILE
M sitting
13 WILL THEY GROW WINGS AND FLY AWAY?
Thought bubble with 2 plates with wings
CRASH TO THE FLOOR?
Thought bubble with just a boom
OR JUST DISAPPEAR?
Empty thought bubble
14 MAYBE KEEP GOING ON THEIR OWN
Though bubble with a bunch of spinning plates
HAPPILY SPINNING AWAY WITHOUT YOU
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT
15 Textbook diagram of the brain
M: (looking at diagram) THIS DIAGRAM IS INCOMPLETE. IT DOESN'T SAY “MIND” ON HERE ANYWHERE.
M: OR CONSCIOUSNESS EITHER.
16 M: I'M AWARE OF YOU BUT I'M NOT CLINGING TO YOU
I: (holding up sign saying LOOK AT ME) SO YOU SAY
17 M: IT'S GOOD TO BE MINDFUL[,] BUT ALSO BODYFUL
I: (eating a cookie) MY BODY'S FULL OF COOKIES
18 M: WHEN MY BODY IS WELL ENUF TO REALLY GET INTO THE RIGHT POSTURE, IT'S ECSTACY
I: AMAZING WHAT A LITTLE STRETCHING WILL DO
Arrow pointing to next page
19 20 MINUTES LATER
M: (slouching) CAN'T…MAINTAIN
I: AMAZING WHAT A LITTLE BRAVADO WILL DO
20 I: ARE YOU WAITING FOR BUDDHA TO SAVE YER SOUL?
M: US MODERN PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE IN SOULS[.] WE BELIEVE IN CONSCIOUSNESS WHICH IS TOTALLY SCIENTIFIC. TOTALLY.
21 M: PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE HOW COMFORTABLE & LUXURIOUS THIS POSTURE REALLY IS
I: IS THAT WHY YOU WERE SQUIRMING AND SHIFTING AROUND FOR THE LAST 15 MINUTES?
22 PLEASE ENJOY A BEAST AND A ROBOT!
Robot & beast
PLEASE DRAW ME A BEAST OR A ROBOT
SEND IT TO:
BOXHOLDER/PO BOX 200394/DENVER CO 80220
23 DONATE! OR DON'T…OR DO!
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
PAYPAL: eliashiebert@comcast.net
VENMO: @Matthew-Hiebert-1

SOCIALS: @MEDITATIONFUNNIES ON INSTA, BSKY, TUMBLR, ETC&Hellip;PILLOWFORT, DREAMWIDTH, MSTDN.PARTY
@MEDITATIONCOMIX ON TWITTER
WHILE IT LASTS

WRITE TO:
MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL.COM
24 MEDITATION FUNNIES #24
©MMXXV by M. Elias Hiebert
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
BOXHOLDER
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
FREE PALESTINE
CHINGA LA MIGRA
MF025 01 Cover. 2 tubular versions of M look at each other. MF, #25, and FREE in overlapping, cockeyed, blocky letters. lonely place PRODUCTIONS up and down on the right side.
02 ©2025 BY M. ELIAS HIEBERT
WRITE! AND SEND A TRADE!
POSTAL CUSTOMER
PO BOX 200394, DENVER CO 80220
@MEDITATIONFUNNIES@GMAIL.COM
Inside a box:
M. ELIAS HIEBERT APPEARS IN AMUZA KOMIKSO PUBLISHT BY STEVE WILLIS
PO BOX 390
McCLEARY WA 98557-0390
03 I: IS DIS “SELF CARE?”
04 I: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE DONE ALL THIS MEDITATION AND NOT LEARNED A DAMN THING?
05 I: (hand on head) YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN IDEAS…
M: WELL IF I DIDN'T HAVE IDEAS, THERE WOULD BE NO MATERIAL FOR THIS COMIC BOOK. YOU EVER THINK OF THAT???
06 Wrong demon: (round body, top hat, phallic nose, chicken feet, eyes and hands pointing two different directions) THAT'S WRONG[,] THAT'S WRONG
THE LITTLE GUY IN MY HEAD WHO TELLS ME EVERYTHING I DO IS WRONG
07 M: MY SECRET HOPE IS IF I SIT HERE LONG ENUF I'LL FINALLY GET THE BIG, COSMIC JOKE
I: THE BIG JOKE IS THAT SOMEONE CONVINCED YOU TO SIT & DO NOTHING FOR HOURS
08 BREATH COUNTING
M: (thinking) ONE[…]ONE[…]ONE[…]ONE[…]ONE[…]
09 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ACTION IS IN THIS MOMENTONE[…]I HAVE NO ILLUSIONS ABOUT BEATING FASCISM
Crowd of faces, different expressions, holding signs:
FUCK ICE
NO DEPORTATIONS
CHINGA LA MIGRA
M in the middle wearing a mask and raising a fist
BUT STICKING UP FOR MY FRIENDS IS THE LEAST I CAN DO
10 NO MATTER HOW LOUD IT GETS INSIDE YOUR MIND
A bunch of craniums saying YAK YAK to each other
11 THERE IS ALWAYS A PLACE WHERE IT IS SILENT
Blank.
12 WHEN I SIT ZAZEN I REMEMBER THAT PLACE
“THINK THE THOUGHT OF NONTHINKING”—DŌGEN
13 I CAN'T MAKE MY BRAIN SHUT UP
Cranium: YAK YAK YAK YAK
M: ISN'T IT YOUR BEDTIME?
14 BUT I CAN STOP LISTENING
The cranium YAKs away while M sits
15 Cranium: YAK YAK YAK I'LL MAKE YOU LISTEN YAK YAK YAK YAK
M: (head jerking toward Cranium) WHAT?!
16 DISSATISFACTION
M: (thinking) IT'S NOT ENUF[.] IT WILL NEVER BE ENUF[.] EVEN WHEN I'M HAPPY I'M NOT HAPPY
I pokes him (POKE)
THE FIRST NOBLE TRUTH
17 CAUSE
M: (thinking) HOLY SHIT, I'M THE PROBLEM
I: YOU DON'T SAY
THE SECOND NOBLE TRUTH
18 HOPE ⭐️
M: I'D BE OKAY IF I JUST STOPPED WANTING THINGS TO BE DIFFERENT
I: (rolling eyes) GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
THE THIRD NOBLE TRUTH
19 THE WAY OUT
JUST SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP (…AT LEAST THAT'S A START)
I: (rolling eyes) SHUTTING UP WOULD BE A GREAT START
THE FOURTH NOBLE TRUTH
20 M: ENLIGHTENMENT IS BULLSHIT
I: (hand over face) YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY ENLIGHTENMENT IS BULLSHIT UNTIL AFTER YOU GET ENLIGHTENED
21 GET ME @
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22 MEDITATION FUNNIES IS TAKING A MONTH OFF.
WATCH FOR THE NEXT ISSUE IN JUNE
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MF026 01 Cover. Manjushri with crossed eyebrows, crown, holding flaming sword over head. MEDITATION FUNNIES parallel to the sword. #26, JUN JUL, FREE
02 MEDITATION FUNNIES #26
©MMXXV
by M. Elias Hiebert

DISCLAIMER:
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MEDITATION OR BUDDHISM! I HOPE THESE COMIX ARE AMUSING OR INTERESTING TO YOU, BUT HTEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE INSTRUCTIVE
03 I BOW TO LIFE
M bowing to a flower
I BOW TO DEATH
M bows to a skull
04 OTHER ARTISTS
Stick figure with 2 plewds pushes boulder up steep hill. Summit of hill labeled THE IDEAL.
ME
Stick figure gives a thumbs up and pushes a boulder up a tiny hill labeled MORE OR LESS GETTING MY POINT ACROSS.
05 Boulder rolls down steep hill. Stick figure has 2 plewds and throwing up their hands.
Other stick figure: (lounging on their boulder) I RESPECT THE HELL OUT OF YOU
06 WHEN I'M CONFRONTED WITH A REASONABLE ARGUMENT
Foil: I DISAGREE BECAUSE XYZ
Arrow pointing to M's word bubble: WHAT I WISH WOULD HAPPEN
M: HONEST CONSIDERATION OF YOUR POSITION AND CLARIFICATION OF MY OWN, LEADING US BOTH TO GREATER UNDERSTANDING
07 Arrow pointing to M's word balloon: WHAT NORMALLY HAPPENS
M: THE FIRST REBUTTAL THAT COMES INTO MY MIND, USUALLY SOME MADE-UP BULLSHIT …I'M WINNING!
Foil: (rolls eyes)
08 I: STOP PLAYING AROUND!
09 M: I'M SMART
I: BUT YOUR UNEDUCATED
M: HARD WORKING
I: BUT UNDISCIPLINED
M: OPEN-MINDED
I: BUT HORNY FOR RULES
M: FUNNY
I: BUT SHORT ON PUNCHLINES
10 I: (yelling) DON'T ENTERTAIN YOURSELF!
11 M: I WANT TO BE PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER THAN MYSELF
12-13 Full bleed of Hubble Deep Field Image
14 M: NOT THAT BIG
I: (rolls eyes)
Typed text: Photo credit: NASA, ESA, and S. Beckwith (STScI) and the HUDF team / edited by me
15 THE MIDDLE WAY
M, smiling, grabs the 2 horns of a bull and vaults over.
Above one horn:
FAITH
HOPE
LOVE
Above the other:
DOUBT
FEAR
HATE
Down by the bull's nose: BEAST #11857192
Picture is sideways. Arrow advises the reader to ROTATE 90°
16 Arrow: TURN IT BACK NOW
M: (anguished face) WHY DID I SAY ALL THOSE BUFFOONISH THINGS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
I: YOU KNOW YOU SAY BUFFOONISH THINGS NOW, RIGHT? AND YOURE GOING TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
17 M lounges on couch looking at phone next to an EMPTY MEDITATION CUSHION and an unchecked checklist pinned to the wall.
Arrow pointing to checklist: NEGLECTED RESPONSIBILITIES
I: (standing on arm of couch) YOU ALWAYS STOP DOING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. I GUESS YOU HATE FEELING GOOD?
M: FEELING ROTTEN & WORTHLESS IS NICE. KINDA COMFY.
18 M: EVERYTHING GETS BETTER IF I JUST STOP FOCUSING ON MYSELF
I: YOUVE KNOWN THIS FOR A LONG TIME BUT YOU NEVER REALLY PUT IT INTO PRACTICE
M: I KNOW
19 MINDFULNESS IS MY REFUGE
MINDFULNESS IS MY TREASURE
20 M: DESPITE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY, MY BRAIN CONVINCES ME I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON
I: (shrugging) WELL, YOU COULD TRY BELIEVING YOURE A GOOD PERSON, OR YOU COULD TRY NOT NEEDING TO BE A GOOD PERSON
Chicken: HAVE YOU TRIED NOT TRYING?
21 Black block letter font:

MIGRATION IS A HUMAN RIGHT
¡CHINGA LA MIGRA!

TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

PALESTINE WILL BE FREE
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24 A lonely place PRODUCTION
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
Manjushri swings sword
M's decapitated head flies up, x-es for eyes, tiny circle for mouth, blood spurting
MF027 01 Cover. Chicken playing a mandolin. Big tail. MEDITATION parallel to the tail. FUNNIES parallel to the neck of the mando. 27, AUG-SEP, FREE. 4 16th notes.
02 MEDITATION FUNNIES #27
©MMXXV by M. Elias Hiebert

MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOKTOR STEPHEN SANDERZ MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE

…AND BY THE FREE COPIERS AT THE DENVER LIBRARY

Chicken and I with long stick necks sticking up from the bottom of the page
03 THE MOST USEFUL THING MEDITATION HAS TAUGHT ME
M: (thinking) OH…I DON'T HAVE TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT THAT
I: IF ONLY YOU COULD REMEMBER THAT MORE THAN 1% OF THE TIME WHEN YOURE “OFF THE CUSHION”
04 Foil: KEEP TRYING! THE MORE YOU DO IT, THE DEEPER YOU'LL GET INTO THE MEDITATIVE STATE
M: THE MORE I DO IT[,] THE LESS I CARE ABOUT DEEP MEDITATIVE STATES
M: LIKE I'M SURE THEY EXIST[,] BUT THEY'RE NOT PART OF MY EXPERIENCE
05 IS MY INTELLECT STANDING BETWEEN ME & THE BUDDHA WAY?
Intellect wears a cap & gown, tassel on his right side, monocle, tongue out, one finger raised, apple in the other hand. To the right of him, Shakyamuni smiles. To the left, M frowns.
06 WHEN I LOOK AROUND ALL I SEE IS MY DAMNED INTELLECT
M is surrrounded by Intellect heads and apples. M's two eyes look 2 different directions at 2 Intellects.
07 I: (looking off-panel) YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY COULD DRAW BETTER
Cartoonist: (finishing I's foot with a dip pen) THAT WOULD REQUIRE TIME & EFFORT
08 WE “FORGET” OUR DREAMS
WHEN WE CAN'T IMPOSE ON THEM
THE LOGIC WE IMPOSE UPON OUR WAKING CONSCIOUSNESS
M drooling with cashed eyes and mussed hair
09 EACH OF US IS ALWAYS ALONE IN THEIR OWN HEAD
M profile with 🔒️ (lock icon) on the side of his head
NO WAY IN OR OUT
10 BUT AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ALONE
3 pairs of heads, all with 🔒s️ (lock icons). One pair kissing, one pair side by side looking at something together, one pair YAK YAKing at each other.
TOGETHER
11 M: UNH…I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE
I: SO DIE THEN[,] YA POOG
12 NO ONE IS LOOKING OUT OF YOUR EYES
M. head in profile, homunculus inside sitting on a 3-legged stool looking thru a telecope that terminates in M's eye
13 THE EYES LOOK OUT OF THEMSELVES
An eyeball, looking
14 SUFFERING IS UNAVOIDABLE

M is surrounded by
DISSATISFACTION
DISAPPOINTMENT
HEARTBREAK
INJUSTICE
SHAME
LOSS
BOREDOM
PAIN
SICKNESS

THE BUDDHA'S FIRST NOBLE TRUTH
15 MAYBE THE FIRST NOBLE TRUTH IS ALL YOU REALLY NEED?
MAYBE THE REST IS JUST COROLLARY?
16 Knife going in M's nostril and coming out his eye. Blood spurting.
I: (eyes half lidded) AND WHY DID YOU STAB YOURSELF IN THE FACE AGAIN?
M: I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING WEIRD I SAID 30 YEARS AGO
17 M: I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE & HAPPINESS, BUT IT'S STILL NOT ENUF
I: IT NEVER WILL BE, SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
18 M: THINGS JUST DON'T FEEL RIGHT
I: THEY NEVER WILL[.] SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
19 M: I'M NOT GOOD ENUF!
I: YOU NEVER WILL BE[.] SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
20 M: I DO WORRY ABOUT IT
I: YOU ALWAYS WILL
21 Mom, Foil, Chicken, I, together: SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!
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23 TRANS RIGHTS!!!
FREE PALESTINE!!!
¡¡¡CHINGA LA MIGRA!!!
24 Back cover. Eye of Agamotto with T.D.S.S.M.M.I. around it.
MF028 01 Cover.
A lonely place PRODUCTION
MEDITATION FUNNIES
A disembodied finger with a bone sticking out and a drop of blood
NO. 28, EARLY SPRING, FREE
02 SALUTATION
TO MY DEMONS
CLown face, smoke demon, wrong demon, I
03 AN OLD STORY:
SHAKYAMUNI TOLD HIS MONKS
Shakyamuni (to 3 monks, pointing): GO MEDITATE IN THE FOREST
04 AND SO:
Monks: (meditating)
Devas in the trees look down at them, concerned.
One deva: ARE THEY STAYING?
Other deva: I THINK THEY'RE GONNA BE HERE ALL SEASON
One deva: LET'S ANNOY THEM SO THEY'LL LEAVE
05 Devas: Get in the faces of the monks, make faces and be noisy and fart
Monks: are distressed
06 BACK TO THEIR TEACHER THEY WENT
Monk 1: CAN'T MEDITATE
Monk 2: DEMONS IN THE TREES ACTING THE FOOL.
Shakyamuni: HERE'S HOW YOU HANDLE THEM…
07 DISSOLVE TO:
08 Monks: (back in the forest) MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY[,] MAY ALL BEINGS BE WELL[,] MAY ALL BEINGS BE SAFE[,] MAY ALL BEINGS BE AT EASE…
Devas: (looking down from the trees) EH, THEY'RE COOL
09 Monks meditate. One deva looks down affectionately at them.
Bird: CHEEP!
Other deva: (finger to mouth) SHH, THEY'RE MEDITATING
10 M: (hands in gassho) MAY ALL BEINGS BE SAFE[,] MAY ALL BEINGS BE AT EASE ETC ETC
I: WHADDAYA MEAN “ALL BEINGS”? THE FOX AND THE RABBIT CAN'T BOTH BE SAFE & AT EASE AT THE SAME TIME Y'KNOW
11 JUDGING EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME IS SO TIRING. WHY NOT SIT DOWN AND TAKE A BREAK FOR A WHILE
I: (holding clipboard) OK BUT I NEED YOU BACK ON THE FLOOR IN 30 MINUTES AND DON'T FORGET TO CLOCK OUT
12 REMEMBERING EVERY CONVERSATION I'VE EVER HAD
M: (eyebrows crossed and eyes scrunched) THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!
13 SOME PEOPLE FEEL SAD THAT WE'RE ALL STUCK IN A LONELY CORNER OF AN UNIMAGINABLY VAST UNIVERSE
OR, THAT EACH OF US IS ALONE IN THEIR OWN REALITY, AND NO ONE CAN SEE WHAT COLOR YOUR SKY IS
14 BUT THE FACT THAT OTHER PEOPLE EXIST
Outlines of 3 people filled with the Hubble Deep Field image
15 THAT WE CAN FEEL THEIR WARMTH
M smiles, sitting next to another sitting person with emanata
16 THAT WE CAN COMMUNICATE AT ALL
2 craniums, 2 word balloons. Both balloons have a Keith Haring dog in them
17 AND COMMUNICATE OVER THOUSANDS OF MILES
2 stick figures hold phones on either side of the globe
18 OR MILLIONS
Cassini spacecraft: 🪐 (Saturn)
Down in the corner, Earth with a little satellite dish
19 AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS
Hand art from Lubang Jeriji Saléh cave on Borneo
20 THAT WE CAN SEE SO FAR
3 guys stand on each other's heads. The top one looks thru a very long telescope at the Hubble Deep Field image
21 IS A MIRACLE TO ME.
22 MEDITATION FUNNIES #28
©MMXXVI by M. ELIAS HIEBERT
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
eliashiebert.com
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