Transcriptions

This page contains transcriptions of our comix for text searching purposes. These are not descriptions for the visually impaired (those can be found elsewhere).

CATALOG NUMBER PAGE DESCRIPTION
MF001 01 Cover. MF logo at top. Imp paints an ensō (Zen calligraphy circle). Background of waves. Corner box w/ number, price (free), icon of M, lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
MF001 02 M bows to cushion
MF001 03 I: OH WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO IT “RIGHT”?
MF001 04 I: (leaning on elbow) OH, YOU'RE JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE? OH, YOU'RE JUDGING YOURSELF? HOW BORING!
MF001 05 M: (weeps)
I: This again?
MF001 06 M: (thinking) THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK
I: (beneath thought balloon, holding hands up to avoid being crushed) ENOUGH ALREADY!
MF001 07 I pokes M's empty thought bubble with a needle
MF001 08 Clouds have parted revealing the face of the moon.
I: (looking up) YOU'RE MISISNG IT
MF001 09 M eyes wide, line of surprise over head. Bubble popping symbol (squean) inside his thought bubble.
From off-panel: DIIINGG…
I: POOF
MF001 10 M: ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE IMPERFECT
I: (rolling their eyes) ENJOY IT
MF001 11 I: LET GO!
M: (cringing) OF WHAT?!!
MF001 12 I: I DON'T KNOW WHAT “NONTHINKING” IS BUT YOU AINT DOING IT
M: THINKING OR NOT, I'M SITTING THAT'S ALL
MF001 13 I: (into bullhorn) RELAX!!
M vibrates, eyes wide, mouth jagged
MF001 14 M: (pain stars, plewd (sweat bead), spirals for eyes) (thinking): WHY WON'T THAT [FUCK]ING BELL RING?
I holds keisu (bell) and mallet
MF001 15 I meditates next to M, off kilter with halo
MF001 16 I: (walking away with a wave of their hand) ALRITE, YOU WORE ME OUT ALREADY
M: TOOK LONG ENUF
MF001 17 M: (alone, eyes fully open): NOW WHO WILL DISTRACT ME?
MF001 18 I: (holding up their hands) SHEESH! NOBODY'S LOOKING AT YOU!
MF001 19 I: (curled up, eyes closed): Zzzzz
M: (wide awake)
MF001 20 From off-panel: WOOF WOOF
TWEET TWEET
TALK TALK
I, eyes half lidded, holds up a pistol.
MF001 21 I, with gritted teeth, tosses a brick, striking M's head.
SFX: ZIP POW
M: (heart next to head)
Krazy Kat homage obviously.
MF001 22 M: (thought bubble) [music notes]
I: (grinning) YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT SONG
MF001 23 M and I bow to each other
Caption: MEDITATOR: HE/HIM
IMP: THEY/THEM
—Ed.
MF001 24 Back cover.
Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #1 ©MMXX BY M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
P.O. BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
D.S.S.M.M.I.
MF002 01 Cover. MF logo. M is pierced by an arrow. Face contorted South Park style ( >< ).
I: (poised to shoot another arrow): SECOND ISSUE!
Corner box w/ number, price (free), icon of M, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF002 02 M bows to cushion.
MF002 03 I: (rolling their eyes) IS YOUR PRACTICE “RIPENING”?
MF002 04 I: YOU HATE IT
M: I DO IT ANYWAY
I: YOU LOVE IT
M: I AVOID IT ANYWAY
MF002 05 I tickles M's nose with a feather.
MF002 06 I: YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FAILURES
M: I DON'T HAVE TO
MF002 07 I: WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?
M: (cringes)
MF002 08 M: WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY?
I: (shrugs)
MF002 09 M: (thought balloon) [crossed pieces of tape saying CENSORED, 4 plewds (sweat beads)]
I: OOH THAT'LL BE A TUFF ONE TO IGNORE
MF002 10 M: (a fermata inside a speech balloon
I: LISTEN TO YOUR EARS RING
MF002 11 Text: GOODBYE TO THE MAYU SANCTUARY[,] DENVER COLORADO [,] CLOSED FOR GOOD IN 2020 DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC[,] WHERE I FIRST SAT ZAZEN WITH OTHER PEOPLE[,] WHERE I BOUGHT THE CUSHION I STIL USE TODAY
Cushion.
MF002 12 2-page spread. M: 11 connected thought bubbles. Last one has a tail leading off-panel.
1, 2, 3: All filled with jagged lines
4: Bubble popping symbol (squean)
5, 6, 7: Empty
8: Jagged lines start to reappear from edges of thought bubble
9: Jagged lines get longer
10, 11: Jagged lines fill the bubbles again
I: AND SO ON
MF002 13 (same spread)
MF002 14 Cityscape on fire.
M: NO HOPE VIOLENCE
I: NO HOPE NONVIOLENCE
MF002 15 Cityscape on fire.
M: REVOLUTION PLEASE
I: HOW CAN YOU CALL FOR REVOLUTION WHEN YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO PICK UP A GUN YOURSELF?
MF002 16 I: ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE FACT THAT YOU LOOK LIKE A COCK & BALLS?
M: THERE'S AN OLD TRADITION OF COMIC FIGURES SPORTING PHALLIC SYMBOLS[.] THE LONG NOSE, THE LONG HAT[,] ETC
MF002 17 I: ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE FACT THAT YOU LOOK LIKE A COCK & BALLS?
M: I THINK I LOOK MORE LIKE A FLYING V GUITAR
I: LIKE I SAID
MF002 18 M: WHERE IS REALITY?
I: TAKE IT EASY, THESE ARE GAG CARTOONS[,] NOT KOAN!
MF002 19 M: (face contorted South Park style { >< ), pain star)
I: (doing a pancake stretch) DID YOU STREEETCH?
MF002 20 M: (thought bubble) THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT
I is up on a ladder picking the THOUGHTs out of the thought balloon and putting them into a bucket.
MF002 21 I and M: (Xes for eyes (crottles)): Zzz
MF002 22 M and I bow to each other.
MF002 23 Text: M. ELIAS HIEBERT IS A FATHER, A WAGE WORKER AND A PRETEND CARTOONIST. HIS MIXTAPES ARE AVAILABLE FROM SATURATED FAT TAPES. INQUIRE BY EMAIL OR POST
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH HELP FROM THE DR. STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
MF002 24 Back cover.
Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #2 ©MMXXI By M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
P.O. BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
T.D.S.S.M.M.I.
MF003 01 Cover. MF logo. I sits zazen on top of M's head. Corner box w/ number, price (free), icon of M, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF003 02 Epigraph from Ānāpānasati Sutta (“A monk, o Monks, goes into a forest, or to the foot of a great tree, or to a lonely place, and there sits down, cross-legged, holding his body upright, and practices Introspection. “He breathes in attentively, and attentively breathes out. Drawing in a long breath, he knows: ‘I drawing in a long breath,’ exhaling a long breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a long breath.’ Drawing in a short breath, he knows: ‘I am drawing in a short breath,’ exhaling a short breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a short breath.’)
MF003 03 I: ARE YOU EARNING “MERIT”?
MF003 04 I: DON'T THINK ABOUT SALIVA!
M: GULP (word balloon comes from throat)
MF003 05 Caption: SIT UPRIGHT AS IF AN INVISIBLE STRING WERE ATTACHED TO THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD
Line runs from M's head to top of panel.
I (eyes half lidded) holds scissors.
MF003 06 M has jagged mouth and twitch lines (agitrons) around nose and various other body parts.
I: (scratching back with back scratcher) AHHHHHHH
Onomatopoeia: SCRATCH SCRATCH
MF003 07 I: ARE YOU HAVING A JOYRIDE OR A HELLRIDE?
MF003 08 I: Oooo THAT'S A GOOD THOUGHT[.] BETTER REMEMBER IT
MF003 09 I: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN WATCH YOUR BREATH WITHOUT CONTROLLING IT? YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS WITHOUT FEEDING THEM?
M: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN KISS MY ASS WITHOUT SMELLING IT?
MF003 10 M: (balloon coming from stomach) GURGLE
Other meditator (in shadow) (word balloon coming from stomach): GURGLE
I: THEY'RE TALKING TO EACH OTHER
[Edited to add masks]
MF003 11 M (balloon coming from stomach): GURGLE
I (rolling their eyes): JEEZ, HAVE A SNACK NEXT TIME
MF003 12 Top caption: (large) I BROKE MY FOOT MEDITATING!
Foot bones, one broken with pain star.
Bottom caption: WHEN THEY TELL YOU TO BE CAREFUL STANDING UP, THEY MEAN IT!
MF003 13 Cap: MY FOOT FELL ASLEEP LIKE IT USUALLY DOES WHEN I'M SITTING
M has one eye closed, one eye open.
M's foot: ZZZZZZ
Cap: NOT REALIZING IT WAS STILL BENT SIDEWAYS I TRIED TO STAND ON IT AND…
Top view of two feet, one on its bottom like normal and the other on its side. Emenata from the foot on its side.
Onomatopoeia: KEERAK!!
Cap: I HAD TO MEDITATE IN A CHAIR FOR A WHILE AFTER THAT
M in chair with pain star from foot
Extra cap on side of panel: PS IT'S OKAY NOW
PPS BE CAREFUL!
MF003 14 SFT ad.
Typed text: (spaced out) saturated fat tapes
Scan here for mixtapes.
QR code.
Typed text: Or inquire by email or post to the address on the bsck of this magazine.
MF003 15 M: (thinking) I CLEAR MY THOUGHTS AWAY AND THERE ARE MORE THOUGHTS UNDERNEATH
I: WHAT'S UNDER THAT?
MF003 16 Cartoonist: I WANT TO DO FOR MEDITATION WHAT HARRY MAYEROVITCH DID FOR DEATH
I: OR KLIBAN DID FOR CATS?
C: LET'S NOT GO OVERBOARD
Pencil with USA.
MF003 17 I: WHY DON'T YOU DRAW THE MUDRA?
C: YOU KNOW HANDS ARE HARD
USA pencil.
MF003 18 I: WHEN YOU DO THE CHARACTERS-TALKING-TO-THE-ARTIST THING, YOU KNOW YOU'RE LOW ON IDEAS
C: AND IT'S ONLY THE THIRD ISSUE!
M: (thinking) META META
USA pencil.
MF003 19 I: (finger to mouth) SHH
M: YOU SHH
MF003 20 M: AT LAST SOME CLARITY
I: I SEE RIGHT THRU IT
MF003 21 I: STOP THINKING OF MATERIAL FOR US! […]YOU GOT ANY?
MF003 22 M & I kinhin
MF003 23 TEXT: M. ELIAS HIEBERT WANTS TO DRAW LIKE MILT GROSS, JAMES THURBER, GEO. HERRIMAN, SIDNEY SMITH AND JOHN PORCELLINO BUT HE'LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR DRAWING LIKE HIMSELF
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH THE GENEROUS HELP OF THE DR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
MF003 24 TEXT: MEDITATION FUNNIES #3 ©MMXXI By M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
MF004 01 Cover. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, price (free), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS.
CONTENT NOTE: SUICIDE. One eye closed, I holds a T-square and plumbline next to M.
MF004 02 Epigraph from Ānāpānasati Sutta (“A monk, o Monks, goes into a forest, or to the foot of a great tree, or to a lonely place, and there sits down, cross-legged, holding his body upright, and practices Introspection. “He breathes in attentively, and attentively breathes out. Drawing in a long breath, he knows: ‘I drawing in a long breath,’ exhaling a long breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a long breath.’ Drawing in a short breath, he knows: ‘I am drawing in a short breath,’ exhaling a short breath, he knows: ‘I am exhaling a short breath.’)
MF004 03 I: YOU'RE TRYING…
MF004 04 I: (looking around) WHY DO YOU LIKE IT HERE?
M: I KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYBODY
MF004 05 I: (pointing) SOMEBODY MOVED!
MF004 06 M: (gassho)
I: (tongue out, winds up with the stick)
MF004 07 I: ISN'T THERE SOMETHING BETTER YOU COULD
BE DOING?
M: NOTHING I KNOW OF
MF004 08 I: CAREFUL, DON'T GET “ENLIGHTENED”[.] I HEAR THAT CAN HAPPEN
MF004 09 The word THOUGHT is repeated around the perimeter of M's body.
I: YOU'RE SURROUNDED
MF004 10 The word THOUGHT, repeated, forms waves.
M's head and shoulders are above the waves.
I: (floating by in a boat) DON'T DROWN
MF004 11 I sweeps out M's thought balloon. The letters of the word THOUGHT fly around.
MF004 12 I: EVERYTHING YOU DO IS SILLY, MISGUIDED AND FRUITLESS
M: THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS FOR[.] BESIDES[,] I ENJOY IT
MF004 13 I: (looking around) …WHEN THERE'S REAL WORK TO BE DONE
M: I HELP SOMETIMES[.] WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK OF A HUMAN? WE CAN'T ALL BE HEROES
MF004 14 SFT ad.
Typed text: saturated fat tapes [spaced out]
Scan here for mixtapes.
QR code.
Typed text: Or inquire by email or post to the address on the back of this magazine.
password: hoaryhandsofhoggoth [upside down]
MF004 15 M & I (I looking down) both thinking of a skull.
MF004 16 Inside M's thought bubble, a knife, a gun, a bomb, an ax, a couple scribbles.
I: IF YOU MUST DISTRACT YOURSELF, WHY NOT DISTRACT YOURSELF WITH SOMETHING NICE?
MF004 17 I: HOW CAN ANYONE STAND TO BE HUMAN?
M: THAT'S WHAT I'M PRACTICING
MF004 18 I: WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE AN ANGEL?
M: ANGELS HAVE TO BE GOOD[.] THEY HAVE NO CHOICE
Typed text: This statement may not be theologically sound.—Ed.
MF004 19 I: YOU HAVN'T THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF LATELY
M: IT'S ENUF TO KNOW I'LL DIE EVENTUALLY
I: ARE YOU SURE DEATH IS THE END?
M: SHIT
MF004 20 M: I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT QUEER ENUF TO CALL MYSELF QUEER[,] NOT AUTISTIC ENUF TO CALL MYSELF AUTISTIC[,] NOT BUDDHIST ENUF TO CALL MYSELF A BUDDHIST
I: YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO COMMIT TO AN IDENTITY[,] ESPECIALLY A DIFFICULT ONE
MF004 21 I: NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO CONGRATULATE YOU FOR HOW WELL YOU SAT
M: THAT ISN'T WHAT I COME HERE FOR
(thinking) BUT IT WOULD BE NICE
MF004 22 Cap: IF YOU HAVENT' YET[,] PLEASE GET A COVID VACCINE
M & I both have needles stuck in their arms.
MF004 23 M & I bow to each other.
MF004 24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #4 ©MMXXI by M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@ocmcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER, CO 80220
(upside down) T.D.S.S.M.M.I.
MF005 01 Cover. MF logo. M as a skeleton. Corner box w/ number, price (free), lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF005 02 M bows to cushion.
MF005 03 I: DON'T GET COMFORTABLE
MF005 04 I: ARE YOU TRYING TO REALIZE YOU'RE A BUDDHA?
M: I'M TRYING TO REALIZE I'M SITTING HERE
MF005 05 M: I FELT SO IGNORANT TALKING TO THE ROSHI
I: (shrugging) WELL TEACHING THE IGNORANT IS THEIR GIG, RIGHT?
MF005 06 M is flanked by other meditators, in shadow. I appears on a laptop.
M: IT'S LOVELY TO SHARE THE SAME SPACE WITH OTHER PEOPLE
I: IT'S NOT THE SAME ON ZOOM
Edited to add a mask.
MF005 07 M is flanked by other meditators, in shadow.
M: I GET AWFULLY SELF-IMPORTANT WHEN I SIT ALONE
I: WHEN YOU SIT WITH PEOPLE YOU REALIZE YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER BOZO
M: YOU'RE THE CLOWN
Edited to add masks.
MF005 08 M is flanked by other meditators, in shadow.
M: SUCH A JOY TO SIT WITH OTHER PEOPLE
I: YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE PEOPLE
M: I LIKE PEOPLE[,] I JUST GET CRUSHING BRAIN PAIN WHENEVER I TALK TO THEM
Edited to add masks.
MF005 09 I: EVERYWHERE YOU GO THERE'S SOMEONE THERE TO TELL YOU YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
MF005 10 I: ENDURE IT
MF005 11 I: ISN'T IT GREAT WHEN OTHER PEOPLE FIGIT? THEN YOU CAN FEEL SUPERIOR TO THEM
MF005 12 Pages 12 and 13 make up a 2-page spread.
M: WHAT IS GOD?
I: THAT THING IN THE DARK YOU'RE AFRAID OF
I's word balloon is connected to the word balloon on the next page.
MF005 13 Pages 12 and 13 make up a 2-page spread.
I's word balloon is connected to the word balloon on the previous page.
I: AND GOD IS ALWAYS THERE
M: SO I MAY AS WELL NOT BE AFRAID OF THE DARK
MF005 14 The cushion is empty.
I: (pointing off-panel with their thumb) HE HAD TO GO POOP
MF005 15 C: WHEN YOU LETTER BY HAND YOU HAVE TO SPELLCHECK BY HAND
M: AND YOU NEVER DO
USA pencil.
MF005 16 M: WHAT'S WITH YOUR HORNS?
I: (looking up, with their hand behind their horn) GOT EM AT THE SPIRIT STORE
M: AND THE DRESS?
I: I MADE IT OUT OF LINUS'S SHIRT
MF005 17 M: HOW ABOUT THE GLOVES?
I: (hands extended) A CARTOON TROPE WITH A NASTY HISTORY[.] I NEED THEM 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE HANDS[.] JUST GLOVES
Cap: (upside down) DID I STEAL THIS GAG FROM LIKE MILK & CHEESE OR SOMETHING?
MF005 18 I: THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERAPY
MF005 19 I: POSER
M: YOU SPELL THAT RIGHT?
MF005 20 M: (slumped) (thinking) I CAN'T DO IT
I: SLUMP
MF005 21 I: HOW IS IT IN THAT RICKETY OLD HEAD?
M: CRAMPED.
MF005 22 M & I bow to each other.
MF005 23 Text: M. ELIAS HIEBERT's MIX TAPES ARE AVAILABLE FROM SATURATED FAT TAPES.
INQUIRE BY EMAIL OR POST.
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH THE GENEROUS HELP OF THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
MF005 24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #5
©MMXXI by M. Elias Hiebert
eliashiebert@comcast.net
GRAM: @eliashiebert
BIRDIE: @eliashiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MF006 01 Cover. MF logo. M is tipped onto his side. Corner box w/ icon of M, number, date (JAN-FEB), price (FREE), lonely place PRODUCTIONS. CONTENT NOTE: DEPRESSION & SUICIDE (BRIEF MENTION)
MF006 02 M bows to cushion.
©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
P.O. BOX 200394 / DENVER, CO 80220
MF006 03 M: (thinking) REMEMBER TO BUY EGGS
MF006 04 M: WHEN YOU DO ZAZEN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE DOES ZAZEN WITH YOU
I: EVERY SPINNING PARTICLE SITS ON ITS CUSHION
MF006 05 M: I READ ABOUT PEOPLE'S ENLIGHTENMENT EXPERIENCES AND IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A NASTY DRUG TRIP
I: MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO COMPARE IT TO
MF006 06 I: WHY IS IT CALLED “MEDITATION FUNNIES”?
M: BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT “ZAZEN” MEANS
I: SO YOU'D RATHER PEOPLE HAVE THE WRONG IDEA THAN NO IDEA?
MF006 07 I: WHY NOT “ZEN FUNNIES”?
M: THEN PEOPLE REALLY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE WRONG IDEA
MF006 08 I: WHAT DOES YOUR TEACHER SAY?
M: KEEP DOING THIS
MF006 09 Unconnected thought bubble: THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT
I: (pointing) IF YOU'RE NOT THINKING THOSE, WHO IS?
MF006 10 M: FORGOT TO BRING MY CUSHION ON THIS TRIP[.] I'M SITTING ON A ROLLED UP TOWEL[.] I HAVE TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO MY POSTURE[,] WHICH IS GOOD
I: AND YOUR BUTT HURTS WHICH IS EVEN BETTER
MF006 11 Cap: SITTING IN THE HOTEL WEIGHT ROOM IN THE EARLY MORNING[,] HOPING I DON'T STARTLE SOMEBODY WHO WALKS IN
MF006 12 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread. M thinking of M thinking of M thinking of M thinking of M thinking…
MF006 13 2-page spread with page 12
MF006 14 SFT ad.
Text: (bubble letters) S.F.T.
Text: NEW MIXTAPE AVAILABLE NOW!
Typed text: tinyurl.com/fattapes
QR code
Typed text: (upside down) password: hoaryhandsofhoggoth
MF006 15 I: YOU USED TO SAY YOU WANTED “MEANING”
M: I MEANT I WANTED A REASON TO LIVE
MF006 16 I: YOU USED TO SAY YOU WANTED “MEANING”
M: I MEANT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED ANYMORE
MF006 17 M: I LOOKED & LOOKED FOR MEANING UNTIL I ENCOUNTERED JP SARTRE, WHO SAID
Floating head of JP Sartre: (smoking pipe) FUCK YOU! MAKE YOUR OWN!
I smokes pipe; eyes cross looking at pipe.
Cap: IF YOU'RE A SUICIDAL TEENAGER LIKE I WAS, MAYBE READ NAUSEA[.] YMMV!
MF006 18 M: I'VE ALWAYS SEARCHED FOR SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE THE WORLD MAKE SENSE
I: WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GET COMFORTABLE LIVING IN A WORLD THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
MF006 19 M: I AM THE BREATHING APPARATUS OF THE UNIVERSE
I: BLOWHARD
MF006 20 I forces bellows up M's nose.
MF006 21 I reads newspaper, legs crossed.
Banner: Daily
Headline: WARS
Subhead: RUMORS OF WARS
MF006 22 M & I bow to each other.
MF006 23 Text: SHOUT OUTS: …/& H.R. Meininger/
THE NICE PEOPLE AT POSTAL CENTERS USA IN MAYFAIR • MY DEAD MOM'S PAPER CUTTER • THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE • ANYONE WHO WRITES ME BACK • ZEN CENTERS EVERYWHERE • DICK BLICK • ❤JEN️❤ • MONTCLAIR STATION 80220 • KIIP DEVELOPMENT & JOHN DE WEERDT FOR THE TIMER • THE LAUNDRY ROOM AT THE RAMADA INN IN SALINA KS • SATURATED FAT TAPES • SATURN COMIX • EAGLE SHIP
MF006 24 Text: MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
instagram.com/MeditationFunnies
twitter.com/MeditationComix (DANG CHARACTER LIMIT!)
fb.me/MeditationFunnies
THIS MAGAZINE IS ALWAYS FREE BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF007 01 Cover. M pulls on a rope tied to I's horn. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (MAR-APR), price (FREE), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF007 02 M bows to cushion.
Text: ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
PO BOX 200394 / DENVER CO 80220
MF007 03 I: IS IT GETTING STALE?
MF007 04 I: WHY YOU HAVE TO TALK YOURSELF INTO THIS EVERY MORNING INSTEAD OF JUST DOING IT?
M: I'M BAD WITH HABITS
MF007 05 M: (thinking) HEY, I'M NOT THINKING!
MF007 06 M: NEVER LET ANYBODY KNOW YOU DO THIS. THEY'LL CRITICIZE YOU FOR NOT BEING A SAINT OR A SUPERHERO
I: IF YOU WANT TO KEEP IT A SECRET I GOT BAD NEWS
MF007 07 I: IS THIS YOUR RELIGION OR YOUR HOBBY?
M: ER…
MF007 08 C: RESISTING THE URGE TO TRY TO MAKE THIS “GOOD”
M: SAME HERE
USA pencil.
MF007 09 I: ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL BEINGS OR JUST FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH?
M: AIN'T I A BEING?!
MF007 10 M: IF YOU BELIEVE YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'LL JUSTIFY ALL SORTS OF TERRIBLE THINGS
I: IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE RIGHT, LET OTHER PEOPLE DO ALL SORTS OF TERRIBLE THINGS
M: SO ALL ROADS LEAD TO GENOCIDE?
MF007 11 Flower pot falls on M's head and cracks.
MF007 12 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread. 8 panels showing a wave made of THOUGHTs breaking inside M's thought bubble.
MF007 13 See above.
MF007 14 I: (looking at a book of OLD SUTRAS) DON'T TAKE THIS STUFF LITERALLY
M: OH I WOULD NEVER (thinking) I'M TOTALLY TAKING IT LITERALLY
MF007 15 M: THINKING ABOUT THE BAD “POEMS” I WROTE WHEN I WAS 17
I: YOU REMEMBER THEM FONDLY
M: THEY WERE TERRIBLE BUT THEY WERE THE BEST OF ME
MF007 16 M: I MIGHT HAVE REJECTED THE GENDER BINARY WHEN I WAS YOUNG IF I'D KNOWN THAT WAS AN OPTION
I: INSTEAD, YOU FOUND YOUR OWN WAY TO BE A MAN, ONE YOU COULD LIVE WITH. ARE YOU SORRY YOU DID THAT WORK?
MF007 17 M: I RECKONED WITH MY GENDER BUT MAYBE I'D'VE DONE IT DIFFERENTLY IF I'D HAD EXAMPLES OF OUT NON-BINARY PEOPLE[.] THEY'RE MUCH MORE VISIBLE NOW
I: EVERYONE'S JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO COME AFTER THEM. EVERYONE THINKS KIDS TODAY HAVE IT EASIER
MF007 18 M: YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU CAN BE UNTIL YOU SEE AN EXAMPLE
I: YOU BE THE EXAMPLE! A MAN WHO'S NOT A NIGHTMARE!
MF007 19 M: JUST…BEING A MAN IS A MINEFIELD, AND—
I: AND BEING QUEER ISN'T?!!? EXCUSE ME?
MF007 20 M wears goat horns (2 pair, one going up, one going down) and a goat beard.
I: (angry) ARE YOU TRYING TO OUT-HORN ME?
M: IT'S MY FURSONA
MF007 21 M: EVERYTHING IS PERFECT JUST AS IT IS
I: THAT'S LIKE THE MOST PERVERSE THING YOU'VE EVER SAID
MF007 22 M & I bow to each other.
MF007 23 Text: M. ELIAS HIEBERT USES THE SAME ART SUPPLIES AS EVERYONE ELSE, AN ANCIENT SCANNER, AND OPEN OFFICE DRAW
MEDITATION FUNNIES IS PRODUCED WITH THE GENEROUS HELP OF THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
MF007 24 Text: MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
instagram.com/MeditationFunnies
twitter.com/MeditationComix
fb.me/MeditationFunnies
THIS MAGAZINE IS ALWAYS FREE BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF008 a01 8 is a flip book. the a pages read one way and the b pages read the other. They meet in the middle (like the 69 issue of Zap).
Cover. Parody of Garbage Pail Kids Adam Bomb card. MF logo in drippy lettering, PEEL HERE in upper left, 8a in upper right. M's head is exploding. I holds detonator. Bottom: BUDDY Sattva.
MF008 a02 Text: ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
@MeditationFunnies
ON [instagram symbol] & [facebook symbol]
@MeditationComix
ON THE BIRD APP
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
IF YOU WANNA DONATE
MF008 a03 I: WAY TO SHOW UP
MF008 a04 M: I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TIRED[,] ANGRY[,] SAD I WAS TIL I SAT DOWN
MF008 a05 M: (sad face, shakey spiral inside thought bubble)
I: YEAH YEAH YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP AND EVERYBODY HATES YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH
MF008 a06 M: (anguished face) SO MANY HUMILIATIONS!
I: SO LITTLE HUMILITY
MF008 a07 M: (thinking) WELL I THOUGHT… WELL I DIDN'T MEAN TO… WELL IT SEEMED LIKE… WELL HE LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW…
I: YOU'RE MAKING UP EXCUSES FOR THINGS YOU'LL NEVER NEED EXCUSES FOR
MF008 a08 I: WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF THIS?
M: ANNIHILATION … PLEASE
MF008 a09 I: ARE YOU CHASING IT?
M: SOMETIMES
MF008a 10 Cap: “BAD ZAZEN IS THE BEST ZAZEN”—BRAD WARNER
I: DON'T DO IT WELL!
MF008 a11 From off-panel: DINNNG!
M: I MAKE IT THRU
I: (rolling their eyes) YOU WANT A PIECE OF CANDY?
M: YES
MF008 a12 a12 and b12 make a 2-page spread. I is a one-eyed jack playing card in the middle, a mirror image up and down. Two Ms are on the sides, oriented opposite ways, up and down.
I: WOW MOM (mirror image text)
M: (various word balloons, oriented different ways) NO UP[,] NO DOWN[,] NO THOUGHT[,] NO FORM
Cap: (APOLOGIES TO RICK GRIFFIN)
MF008 b01 Cover. Identical to other cover except 8b instead of 8a and name at bottom: Awakened ANDY
MF008 b02 Text: A lonely place PRODUCTION
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MF008 b03 I: IS IT A DRUG?
MF008 b04 M: HERE THE FUCK I AM
I: (Looking off) WHERE?
MF008 b05 M: (thinking) JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT[,] JUST GET THRU IT
MF008 b06 I: DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
M: IT'S LIKE WORKING OUT…I FEEL BAD WHEN I'M DOING IT BUT I FEEL BAD AFTERWARD
MF008 b07 M: (thinking) DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP[,] DON'T GIVE UP
MF008 b08 I: “PAIN IN THE LEGS IS THE TASTE OF ZEN”
M: LEGS, HELL[,] IT'S MY BACK THAT HURTS
MF008 b09 M: (thinking) HALF ASS IS BETTER THAN NO ASS[,] HALF ASS IS BETTER THAN NO ASS[,] HALF ASS IS BETTER THAN NO ASS
MF008 b10 M: I RAN OUT OF IDEAS
I: YOU RAN OUT OF IDEAS THAT ARE EASY TO EXECUTE
MF008b 11 I plays solitaire.
MF008b 12 b12 and a12 make a 2-page spread. See above.
MF009 01 Cover. M floating in a lava lamp. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (JUL-AUG), price (FREE), M icon. Sunburst: STILL ONLY 0¢ I does Kilroy routine. Bottom: lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF009 02 Text screenshotted from book:
[189] To practice Zen is to sit in zazen.^1 For sitting in zazen a quiet place is good. Prepare a thick sitting mat. Do not allow wind and smoke to enter. Do not allow rain and dew to leak in. Set aside an area that can contain the body.
Cap: (SHŌBŌGENZŌ)
MF009 03 I: STOP SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS!
MF009 04 M: I MISS EVERY OTHER WORD ANYONE SAYS[,] EVERY OTHER NOTE OF EVERY SONG[,] EVERY OTHER BREATH IN ZAZEN BECAUSE I'M THINKING OF SOMETHING ELSE
MF009 05 I: YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN FEEL ASHAMED OVER STUFF FROM 20 YEARS AGO?
M: OR 30 YEARS AGO[.] OR YESTERDAY
MF009 06 I: ISN'T THINKING EXHAUSTING?
M: NOT THINKING IS EXHAUSTING TOO
MF009 07 Empty meditation cushion.
I: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER BY NOT DOING IT Y'KNOW!
MF009 08 M: GENDERFLUID? AGENDER? GENDER2UEER?
I: HOW ABOUT GENDER INDIFFERENT?
M: SOMEBODY MAKE THAT FLAG
I: YOU CAN'T EXACTLY DESIGN A FLAG TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU DON'T CARE
M: ERR…
MF009 09 M: SOME PEOPLE READ THIS AND THINK WE'RE ENEMIES
I: FRIENDLY ENEMIES LIKE NATCH & FLAKY
M: I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS LIKE CALVIN & HOBBES
I: POSSIBLY AN UNHINGED VAUDEVILLE DUO LIKE CHURCHY & ALBERT?
M: STAR-CROSSED LOVERS LIKE KRAZY & IGNATZ?
MF009 10 I takes a bite out of M's thought bubble.
MF009 11 I: SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON[,] AND YOU'LL LOOK BACK ON THESE COMIX AND CRINGE
M: SOMEDAY?
MF009 12 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread.
M's large thought bubble is divided into 4: BREATH (a puff of air), BODY (M icon), SURROUNDINGS (a bird singing), SELF (heart)
MF009 13 Pages 12 & 13 make a 2-page spread.
See above.
MF009 14 Cap: DREAM.
MF009 15 13 different size picture frames hanging on a wall.
Cap: MY WALLS ARE COVERED WITH PICTURES
MF009 16 Cap: A MOUNTAIN LION RUNS AROUND STRAIGHTENING THEM IN A FRENZY
Back view of mountain lion straightening picture with its 2 front paws.
MF009 17 Cap: SHE HOLDS HER PAW UP NEXT TO EACH ONE, LIKE TO MEASURE IT, CHANTING:
Paw and picture, with M's face. No other part of mountain lion shown.
Mountain Lion: IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,] IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,] IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,] IF IT AIN'T PAW STRAIGHT[,]
MF009 18 M: (discombobulated with agitrons)
I: (into M's ear thru an acoustic megaphone) QUIET! BACK UPRIGHT! KEEP STILL! EARS OVER SHOULDERS! NOSE OVER NAVEL! THINK OF NON-THINKING!
MF009 19 M: (reading book of OLD SUTRAS) “NEITHER HERE NOR YONDER NOR IN BETWEEN”
I: YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT GENDER AGAIN?
MF009 20 M: (with plewd) THERE'S POTENTIAL FOR EMBARASSMENT EVERYWHERE
I: SO YOU'D BETTER NEVER DO ANYTHING
MF009 21 M: REJECT THE BINARY
I: REJECT THE BINARY/NON-BINARY BINARY
MF009 22 M & I stand with hands in gassho. Pain stars coming from several parts of M's body and several more inside his thought bubble.
Cap: P.O. BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
MF009 23 Text: SHOUT OUT TO RICK VEITCH. I SAW HIS INTERVIEW IN THE COMIX URINAL AND THOUGHT, OH YEAH, DREAM COMIX. SHOUT OUT TO POSTAL CENTERS USA, THE MONTCLAIR STATION, DICK BLICK, HR MEININGER, SIMPLY PIANO, THE POOPSHEET FOUNDATION, AND THE DOCTOR STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE ☒
MF009 24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #9
©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
FB[,] GRAM – @MeditationFunnies
BIRD – @MeditationComix
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
THIS PUBLICATION IS ALWAYS FREE[,] BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF010 01 Cover. Dalek shouting IMPERMANENCE! IMPERMANENCE! MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (SEP-OCT), price (FREE), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF010 02 M bows to cushion.
MF010 03 M: I'M DOING IT!
I: YIPPIE
MF010 04 M: THIS PRACTICE HELPS YOU SEE WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD[.] THE DIRTY SECRET IS SEEING WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD CAN BE A REAL BUMMER
MF010 05 I: WHEN DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN EXACTLY THE THE RIGHT POSITION?
M: WHEN I FEEL FREE
MF010 06 I: (beating M with stick) PAY ATTENTION! PAY ATTENTION!
MF010 07 M: (thinking of a triangle labeled a, b, c; a music staff, a pencil, a hyperbola, a finger with a string tied around it, a hand of cards, angles, a dice (die), an open book or possibly a calendar (unclear), a clock, a baseball)
I: DON'T YOU WANT TO TAKE A BREAK FROM ALL THAT THINKING?
MF010 08 I: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE STRIVING FOR ENLIGHTENMENT?
M: ENLIGHTENMENT CAN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF
MF010 09 M: WHAT'S THE MOST NOBLE ARTFORM?
I: (reading a minicomic) THE MINICOMIC
MF010 10 M: IT'S ALL BULLSHIT
I: SAYING IT'S ALL BULLSHIT IS ALSO BULLSHIT
MF010 11 Cap: YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM THE BULLSHIT
MF010 12 Cap: DREAMED MY MON & I WERE ROASTING PEPPERS
Pepper, grate, flame.
Cap: AND PEELING OFF THE SKINS
Pepper, paring knife, skin.
Cap: GOD IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND COOK WITH MY MOTHER AGAIN
MF010 13 I: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON THE PRESENT?
M: (crying) I AM FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT. WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE PRESENT IS ME BEING SAD ABOUT THE PAST
MF010 14 Ad for Mom & I.
Mom and I yelling empty word balloons at each other.
Text: NEW MINICOMIC: “MOM & I” $1
PAYPAL/VENMO: eliashiebert@comcast.net
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
CASH: PO BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
OR—DONATE A BUCK TO ANY ABORTION FUND AND LET ME KNOW! *NOT PP
ALL SALES DONATED TO: NATIONAL NETWORK OF ABORTION FUNDS
MF010 15 M: IT'S NOT ONE THING
I: IT'S NOT THE OTHER THING
M: IT'S NOT BOTH
I: IT'S NOT NEITHER
MF010 16 M: I DIDN'T DO THE THING RIGHT BECAUSE THEY DISTRACTED ME BY TELLING ME HOW TO DO THE THING RIGHT
I: YUP, THEIR ADVICE IS A RUSE SETTING YOU UP TO FUCK UP SO THEY CAN CORRECT YOU
MF010 17 M: (surprise line over head)
I: …COURSE, THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET YOU WITH THAT ROUTINE IF YOU DIDN'T INSIST ON DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT
MF010 18 M: NO SPACE OR TIME. THE BIG BANG NEVER HAPPENED.
I: (rolling their eyes) WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET PAST THIS SMOKEY DORM ROOM SHIT?
MF010 19 M: THE TROUBLE WITH PROFESSING ANY RELIGION IS PEOPLE WITH NO UNDERSTANDING OF THAT RELIGION WILL JUDGE YOU AGAINST THEIR IDEA OF WHAT IT IS
I: YOU'LL NEVER MEASURE UP TO THEIR INNACURATE [inaccurate] IDEA OF WHAT YOU SHOULD BE
MF010 20 M: I GET GREAT INSIGHTS WHILE I'M SITTING
I: THEN YOU FORGET THEM
M: LIKE A DREAM
MF010 21 M & I both stand with hands in shashu.
I: (speaking out of the side of their mouth) ARE YOU GONNA TURN THE WRONG WAY AGAIN?
M: NO, I THOUGHT OF A MNEMONIC
MF010 22 Text: PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MeditationFunnies@gmail.com
instagram.com/MeditationFunnies
twitter.com/MeditationComix
facebook.com/MeditationFunnies
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies IF YOU WISH TO DONATE
MF010 23 Heading: NOW A WORD FROM OUR LAWYER
Snoopy: (wearing a bow tie) (thinking) IPSO FACTO PRIMA FACIE QUID PRO QUO
Caption: THESE COMICS ARE NOT INTENDED AS RECCOMENDATIONS [recommendations] OR ADVICE[.] IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MEDITATION CONSULT YOUR LOCAL ZEN TEACHER
MF010 24 Text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #10 ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
M wearing a long scarf
MF011 01 Cover. MF logo. Corner box w/ number, date (NOV-DEC), price (FREE), M icon, lonely place PRODUCTIONS. Hands in cosmic mudra with a spiral galaxy inside them.
MF011 02 Typed text: (screenshot from an e-book) When Yaoshan was sitting in meditation, a monastic asked, “What do you think about as you sit in steadfast composure?”
Yaoshan said, “I think not-thinking.”
The monastic said, “How do you think not-thinking?”
Yaoshan said, “Nonthinking.”
Handwritten text: MEDITATION FUNNIES #11 ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
A lonely place PRODUCTION
MADE POSSIBLE BY THE STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
MF011 03 M: I'M NOT QUALIFIED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MEDITATION
I: (rolling their eyes) YET YOU NEVER SHUT UP
MF011 04 M: AS LONG AS I'M SITTING HERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M NOT CAUSING ANY TROUBLE
I: YOU SURE?
MF011 05 M: (angry eyebrows, wavy spiral in thought bubble)
I: THAT PERSON REALLY GETS TO YOU, HUH?
M: YEAH, AND THE THING IS I KNOW THEY'RE BEING AS NICE TO ME AS THEY KNOW HOW TO BE
MF011 06 I: (grinning) WHAT ARE YOU NONTHINKING ABOUT?
A PENNY FOR YOUR NONTHOUGHTS
M: NONTHINK NONTHANK NONTHUNK
MF011 07 Cap: THE DEMON WHO STOPS YOU FROM FINISHING ANYTHING
Whirlwind demon wraps around M.
M: (thinking) IT'S NOT GOOD ENUF
I'M NOT GOOD ENUF
Cap: OR SHOWING YOURSELF TO ANYONE
MF011 08 M: EVERY DAY I HAVE TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF ACTUALLY FEELS GOOD
I: (eyes crossed) JUST CUT YR TOENAILS ALREADY!
MF011 09 I: YOU GET USED TO EVERYTHING SO YOU END UP HAVING TO DO MORE & MORE OF IT
M: LUCK I'M UNDISCIPLINED SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT
MF011 10 I: SILLY LITTLE BAG OF SKIN INFLATING YOUR SILLY LITTLE BAG OF AIR
MF011 11 Text: ONE DAY WHEN I WAS 16 OR 17[,] I WAS TOO DEPRESSED TO GO TO SCHOOL[,] TOO DEPRESSED TO FACE ANYBODY[,] AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I WAS GOING TO CONTINUE LIVING[.] I WENT OUT TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE[,] SMOKT POT AND READ COMIC BOOKS[.] (IT WAS WHAT KIDS TODAY CALL SELF CARE)
MF011 12 Cap: AND IN A STONED HAZE I HEARD MY HEART WHISPER TO ME
Heart: (whispering) IT'S ALRIGHT
Cap: AND THEN I COULD GO ON
MF011 13 Cap: AND NOW WHEN THINGS ARE HARD[,] I REMEMBER MY HEART WHISPERING TO ME
I CAN STILL HEAR IT
M with heart on his chest.
MF011 14 Ad for Mom & I.
Mom and I yelling empty word balloons at each other.
Text: NEW MINICOMIC: “MOM & I” $1
PAYPAL/VENMO: eliashiebert@comcast.net
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
CASH: PO BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
OR—DONATE A BUCK TO ANY ABORTION FUND AND LET ME KNOW! *NOT PP
ALL SALES DONATED TO: NATIONAL NETWORK OF ABORTION FUNDS
MF011 15 I: ARE YOU KEEPING YOUR MIND STILL?
M: MY MIND IS MUCH TOO BUSY KEEPING MY BODY STILL
MF011 16 M: IF YOU COMPLIMENT SOMEONE ON SOMETHING, THEY'LL DO MORE OF IT
I: OR LESS, IF THEY'RE PERVERSE
M: SO IS A COMPLIMENT JUST A WAY OF CONTROLLING SOMEONE?
MF011 17 M: WHY DO I AVOID MEDITATING?
I: SAME REASON YOU AVOID SLEEP—YOU'RE AFRAID TO DIE
MF011 18 I: DOES _____ READ THESE?
M: EH, THEY PROBABLY JUST PUT THEM ON THE “TO READ” PILE FOREVER
MF011 19 M: (with donkey ears) WHEN WILL I LEARN TO ARGUE WITHOUT BEING AN ASS?
I: (looking away) SCUSE ME WHILE I GO SHOUT INTO A HOLE
MF011 20 I: (looking up) YOU CAN'T REALLY FLESH OUT AN IDEA IN SINGLE-PANEL FORMAT
M: THAT'S THE BIG ADVANTAGE
MF011 21 Heading: HAVE U HAD THE BIVALENT BOOSTER YET?
Large bandaid.
I: (yelling, cupping hands around mouth) GET IT!
M: (top of head peeking up from bottom of panel) PLZ.
Cap: VACCINES.GOV
MF011 22 Text: INSPIRATIONS: LYNDA BARRY AND HER STUDENTS (CHECK OUT @thenearsightedmonkey ON INSTAGRAM)[,] MATT FEAZELL, JOHN PORCELLINO (ALWAYS)[,] KEL CRUM[,] JAMES THURBER, SCHULZ, KEILOR ROBERTS[,] GEO. HERRIMAN (CHECK OUT The Kat Who Walked in Beauty – IF YOU CAN FIND IT!)[,] SAM SZABO (COMICS WILL BREAK YOUR BALLS IS THE FUNNIES COMIC BOOK OF ALL TIME)[,] GABRIELLE BELL, ELEANOR DAVIS (CHECK OUT You & A Bike & A Road)[,] MILT GROSS, EDIE FAKE, SIDNEY SMITH, PHILLIP GUSTON, H. MATISSE, CAT AND GIRL[,] FABIO VISCOGLISI, KENNETH KOCH, JON KLASSEN, THIRTEEN, BMFU, ELIZABETH HAIDE, DON MARTIN, SOFIA FOSTER-DIMINO, OOPS OUT OF ROOM! LOVE, E.
MF011 23 Text: WRITE TO:
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
MeditationFunnies@GMAIL.COM
[instagram symbol]/[facebook symbol]: @MeditationFunnies
BIRD: @MeditationComix
THIS MAGAZINE IS ALWAYS FREE BUT IF YOU WISH YOU MAY DONATE AT:
ko-fi.com/MeditationFunnies
MF011 24 Cap: A REAL CONVERSATION WITH A 6 YEAR OLD
6YO: THE EARTH IS REALLY SMALL
M: SURE, COMPARED TO THE UNIVERSE THE EARTH IS VERY TINY
6YO: EVEN THE UNIVERSE IS SMALL
M: OH YEAH? COMPARED TO WHAT?
6YO: NOTHINGNESS
M: (plops)
MF012 01 Cover.
Psychedelic lettering sort of: MEDITATION FUNNIES #12 JAN-FEB
FREE
A lonely place PRODUCTION
M's head, I's head & torso
MF012 02 Text: MEDITATION fUNNIES #12 ©MMXXII by M. Elias Hiebert
“A GIFT IS NOT TO BE HATED FOR ITS SMALL VALUE”
DŌGEN
lonely place PRODUCTIONS
MF012 03 I: STOP TRYING TO WIN
MF012 04 I: NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PRACTICE DYING[,] IT WON'T PREPARE YOU FOR THE REAL THING
MF012 05 I: LIFE DOESN'T LAST Y'KNOW
M: MAYBE DEATH DOESN'T LAST EITHER
MF012 06 Heading: IT DOESN'T LAST
M: (thinks of a heart, money, a sun, a moon, a flower, a house, an erection, an EKG)
MF012 07 Heading: KOAN FUNNIES PRESENTS BLUE CLIFF RECORD, EPISODE 53 “THE WILD DUCK”
Panel 1: Two stick figures walk by a creek
Panel 2: A duck flies by
Panel 3: The stick figures are alone
Panel 4: One stick figure says, WHERE HAS IT GONE?
MF012 08 MF: (eyes wide)
Cap: (large) WHERE HAS IT GONE??
Panel 2: M laughs: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Panel 3: A hand reaches from off-panel and tweaks M's nose
M: (eyes crossed) URF!
MF012 09 M: (sore nose, tear)
I: YOU TOLD IT WRONG
MF012 10 THE VERY NOTION OF ARISING & PASSING AWAY IS SUSPECT—KEN TETSUZAN MORGAREIDGE
M next to another M with a skull head
MF012 11 I: WHAT IS YOUR MIND LIKE WHEN YOU SIT ZAZEN?
M: (speech balloon leading to next page) …
MF012 12 12 & 13 are a 2-page spread.
From off-panel: A BLANK PAGE
Nothing else on the page
MF012 13 12 & 13 are a 2-page spread.
Nothing on the page
MF012 14 A copy machine.
Arrow pointing to the paper tray: BLANK PAPER
Arrow pointing to the pages being printed out: WHERE IS THE BLANK PAPER NOW?
I: SO THE ZEEROX [xerox] MACHINE IS A KOAN??
MF012 15 I stands on a stack of books: ZEN READER, ZEN MIND, ZEN BODY, ZEN ABS, PATH OF ZEN, PILLARS OF ZEN, HARDCORE ZEN, SPIRITUAL MATERIALISM, JOURNEY OF AWAKENING.
I: WHAT ARE ALL THESE BOOKS FOR?
M: JUST TO ENCOURAGE ME TO MEDITATE
MF012 16 Newspaper: 🎺NEWS🎺
HARD(er) TIMES COMING
EVERYTHING IS GETTING WORSE
FASCISM! INFLATION! ENVIRONMENTAL CATASTROPHE
M: HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SURVIVIE?
I: (throwing up hands) BY HELPING EACH OTHER OUT!!
M: I DUNOW[;] THAT SOUNDS KIND OF SIMPLE
I: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO HELP SOMEONE OUT? IT'S NEVER SIMPLE
MF012 17 CHECKING OUT ZEN FORUMS*, BLOGS, VIDEOS, PODCASTS
M face with big smile
GETTING EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED IN ZEN FEUDS, DOCTRINAL, DISPUTES, PETTY RESENTMENTS, GENERAL NONSENSE
M face with big frown
I: STAY OFF THAT INTERNET
Footnote: *FORA—ED.
MF012 18 M: I JUST CAN'T GET OVER IT—SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET
I: BIG DEAL, YOU'RE WRONG ON THE INTERNET AND IN REAL LIFE
Chicken: AND IN COMICS
MF012 19 I: YOU'RE ALWAYS SQUIRMING AROUND LOOKING FOR THE BEST POSITION
M: LIKE A LOVER TRYING TO HIT THE RIGHT SPOT
MF012 20 I: WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING THIS?
M: WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE?
Cap: APOLOGIES TO KŌDŌ SAWAKI
MF012 21 M & I bow to each other
MF012 22 Text: SOCIAL MEDIA SHAKEDOWN
SINCE CAPTAIN APARTHEID BLEW UP TWITTER[,] EVERYONE'S LOOKING FOR NEW PLATFORMS[.] @MeditationFunnies CAN NOW BE FOUND AT
COUNTER SOCIAL & COHOST AND HOPEFULLY SOON THE MUSHROOM PROJECT AS WELL AS FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM AND GMAIL
@MeditationComix IS STILL ON TWITTER TIL THE BITTER END!
PS DONATE AT ko-Fi.com/MeditationFunnies IF YOU WANT TO
MF012 23 Text: …OR YOU CAN ALWAYS CONTACT US AT THE MONTCLAIR STATION*
PO BOX 200394
DENVER CO 80220
(SEND TRADES!)
Footnote: *THAT'S MY LOCAL POST OFFICE, YA DORKS!
SPECIAL THANKS TO THE STEPHEN SANDERS MEMORIAL METAPHYSICAL INSTITUTE
MF012 24 d for Mom & I.
Mom and I yelling empty word balloons at each other.
Text: NEW MINICOMIC: “MOM & I” $1
PAYPAL/VENMO: eliashiebert@comcast.net
KO-FI.COM/MeditationFunnies
CASH: PO BOX 200394 DENVER CO 80220
OR—DONATE A BUCK TO ANY ABORTION FUND AND LET ME KNOW! *NOT PP
ALL SALES DONATED TO: NATIONAL NETWORK OF ABORTION FUNDS